NJ Divorce Mediation Resources for Stressful Times

In Monday’s post, we at Equitable Mediation Services talked about how during divorce mediation we try to get to the true self and strip away much of the anger that surrounds divorce to reach a more fair and equitable settlement.  As a mediator, it’s my job to watch for signs that one party may be either taking advantage of the situation or be at a disadvantage and if appropriate, recommend the help of a third party.  Sometimes that’s the help of a financial professional to sort through complex tax returns or business valuations and sometimes it’s the help of a mental health professional who can guide them through these troubled times.

One such resource I believe to be of tremendous value is that of the New Jersey Mental Health Cares website which can be found in our helpful links section.  The website is supported and maintained by the NJ Department of Human Services and is a comprehensive resource and help center for those experiencing a mental crisis or for those who just don’t know where to turn.

During times of severe mental duress (and don’t fool yourself – divorce is certainly one of them) we may need someone to talk to who can help us manage the intense emotions we are experiencing and help us get through these troubled times.  And while divorce mediation tries to be a peaceful process and help couples get through their divorce as painlessly as possible, it doesn’t mean there is no pain.  Dealing with the four main areas of divorce mediation is only part of the process.  Dealing with the emotional toll divorce takes is another and these people are here to help you.

So take some time to look around the site, and as always if you have any questions about how divorce mediation can help you keep the peace during this difficult time, please do not hesitate to contact us and we’ll be glad to help you in any way we can.

Too Close to your Divorce – Let the Experts Help

“Knowledge is Power” the old saying goes and some might say the same is true with divorce mediation. I always encourage my clients to learn more about divorce mediation and bring with them any questions they might have about the process as it relates to their particular situation.  But is there such a thing as knowing too much?  As a professional mediator, I do everything I can to stay on top of the ever changing law, tax implications, latest mediating techniques etc, but is that really something a client should be doing?

I ask this because sometimes in my sessions, I’ll encourage my clients to read some of the very same books that I have read as either a part of my training or continuing education but when instead of using them for reference, the client tries to use that as part of their mediation, I get concerned.  There is a reason we all hire professionals of any kind and one of those reasons in my opinion is to distance ourselves from a particular situation and gain perspective in addition to professional advice.  The example I always use is that of a Real Estate agent.  Could you go up to someones home, knock on the door, say hello and offer them a sum of money for the house?  Sure, I guess you could.  Really though, wouldn’t you want someone with the expertise of the local real estate market to help you so that you don’t make a mistake or to bounce questions and concerns off of?  I know I would.

To anyone going through a divorce, I know, it’s a tough time.  You have a lot of questions and concerns about your future just like everyone else in your situation.  That is why we at Equitable Mediation Services put together our website to provide you with the critical information and resources you’ll need to know when contemplating or going through divorce mediation.  Our helpful resources section has links to everything you might need to know now and after your divorce and our “about divorce mediation” overview can give you a great, four part introduction to the steps we’ll be taking during the mediation process.  Of course the best resource of all can be found simply by contacting us to set up a free, no obligation consultation where we will meet in person and discuss how divorce mediation can benefit you.

We know there are a lot of moving parts to a divorce and we’re here to help you every step of the way.  And while I know this is difficult and you’ll be tempted to learn all you can about your situation, don’t forget there are caring professionals here to help with the knowledge and expertise to get you through your divorce peacefully and with as little impact to you and your family as possible.

Can Divorce Mediation Let You Keep the House?

We’ve heard a lot about the housing market lately, with housing prices going down and mortgage companies going belly-up and when you and your spouse are in the middle of divorce mediation trying to discuss such issues, it can be a bit frightening to say the least. No one likes to “take a loss” on the sale of their house.  I mean really, for years the prices and values of homes have been doing nothing but go up and so why would anyone sell their home for less than what they paid for it? Sadly, this is the exact question many couples in divorce mediation are asking themselves right now. So don’t feel bad as you are not alone.

One of the benefits of mediation is that all decisions are yours: you’ve heard me say that before. But did you know that your mediator can work out an arrangement that allows you and your spouse to keep the house without taking a loss and sell it when you both feel the time (and the market) is right?

We here at Equitable Mediation Services understand what you’re going through and want to work with you in order to create an agreement that works both emotionally and financially. By drafting language into your Memorandum of Understanding outlining the terms of your arrangement, the house can be kept until you both feel the time is right to sell it. Some couples delay the sale of the marital home in order to keep a school-aged child in the same school system and minimize disruption to their lives but it can also be used as a tool to prevent financial loss. The same principles apply and arrangements can be outlined detailing who pays for things such as the mortgage, repairs, maintenance, etc.

And while you will both need to consult with a financial professional to understand the tax & financial implications, our helpful resources section can help you with locating someone to discuss this with and give you the tools you need in order to make an informed decision.

As every family’s circumstances are unique, it is always best to consult with a mediator who can help you and your spouse understand the issues in detail and draft an arrangement that works for both of you. Please feel free to contact us with any questions you may have or to schedule a free, no obligation consultation to learn if mediation is right for you.

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