How Child Support is Paid in NJ Option 1 – The Direct Pay Method

The easiest way to pay child support is to set up a schedule of payments on a weekly, bi-weekly or monthly basis and simply write a personal check from one party to the other.   As I am fan of using technology to make things easier on everyone, you may also wish to consider setting up a regularly occurring debit from one parties’ account to the other.  This way the payments are made directly and there’s no need for one party to go to the mailbox and the other to go to the bank.  The pro of this method is that it’s easy and the con is that you’re trusting the other party to pay.  And while I’d like to believe parents will always do the right thing and pay their child support on time, it’s not always (sadly) the case.

How Child Support is Paid in NJ Option 2 – Wage Garnishment

In this case if necessary you can appeal to the courts for a wage garnishment as child support is a contractual obligation and enforceable with garnishment.  If you choose to pursue this route, you will need to first obtain an order form the courts allowing the garnishment and then work with the ex-spouses’ employer to have the garnishment put into effect.  The pro of this route is that the payment will be made in a timely fashion and is enforced by a court order.  The cons are that it may be costly to go to court to obtain such an order and it would most certainly be embarrassing for the parent who chose not to pay to have their employer know their business.  Then again, that may just be the impetus one needs to write that check and avoid the whole ugly mess of garnishment in the first place!

How Child Support is Paid in NJ Option 3 – State Agency

Here in NJ we have the NJ Child Support Payment Center which can help parents facilitate the payment of child support.  The pros of using such a service is that there’s no cost to either party and the state can get involved in the enforcement should it be necessary.  The cons are that again, it may prove embarrassing to one party and may create an extra layer of administrative burden but if you can’t go with option 1, then you’re really only left with garnishment or using the payment center.

If you have questions about how child support is paid in NJ, please give our offices a call at (908) 864-2177 and we’d be happy to help.

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In mediation we use a budget based approach when it comes to the topic of child support and then calculate the guidelines to verify if the work we did with our budgets accurately reflects what your children’s true expenses are and then adjust accordingly.  The biggest surprise that most couples we work with find is that the amount of NJ Child Support calculated by the guidelines is usually lower than the actual amount of money you spend on your children as an intact family.  Add in things such as music lessons, automobile insurance and daycare which are known as “extraordinary expenses” and outside the calculated child support amount, and you’ll get a sense of the true amount of what you really spend on your children.  So while yes, I understand that some people view “the law as the law” and want me to type the numbers into the software and spit out the magic NJ Child Support amount, like every topic we discuss in mediation, it’s really not as simple as black and white but more like a thousand shades of gray…

So when it comes to calculating child support in New Jersey, there are three things to keep in mind:

1. Child support is an obligation of both parents – that is you will both be paying child support.
2. Children should not become the economic victims of divorce and therefore should receive whatever funding is necessary for them to survive and thrive.
3. You as parents have the right to agree to other child support arrangements than those calculated by the formula provided they are reasonable and have the child’s best interest in mind.

One last note of caution: the calculation of NJ Child Support is a complex topic and one best left to the professionals.  I’ve noticed there are a fair amount of “free” child support calculators out there but like the old saying goes, you get what you pay for and in my humble opinion, you shouldn’t risk your child’s well being on a free form you found on a website.  Call an Accredited Professional Mediator – you’ll be glad you did.

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Joseph Dillon is a NJ divorce mediator and Managing Partner of Equitable Mediation Services – a New Jersey based firm that provides client with divorce mediation in New Jersey and divorce coaching services to clients throughout the United States.  Mr. Dillon may be reached at (908) 864-2177.

Managing Partner and Equitable Mediation founder Joseph Dillon said “I know I speak for everyone here at Equitable Mediation when I say that we’re pleased to be able to assist divorce mediation clients in an office location that’s convenient for them during their time of need and by expanding into Paramus, Saddle Book and Hackensack, we’re able to do just that for Bergen County couples.”

Until recently Equitable Mediation Services focused mostly on Central NJ and the lower part of Northern NJ with office locations in Bedminster, Bridgewater, East Brunswick, Iselin (Metropark), Morristown Princeton, Short Hills, Red Bank and Roseland.  With the expansion into Bergen County and the towns of Paramus, Saddle Book and Hackensack, clients in those areas will still be able to obtain the benefits of mediation in NJ but in a location that’s much closer to their home.  This is especially convenient for those individuals who may live in New Jersey but work in New York City which many Bergen County resident do.

“Our clients come to us from all over the state and up until recently, for those individuals who phoned us seeking mediation services in Paramus, Saddle Book or Hackensack, the best we could do was offer them a meeting in one of our other office locations which for some, wasn’t convenient.  Having these three new office locations is going to make it easier on our clients in Bergen County to get the services they need from a firm they can trust.  We’ve been mediating for a long time and divorce mediation is our full time profession.  Using an unknown firm without Accredited Professional Mediators just isn’t something clients should want to take a chance on.”

Because the laws of the State apply to all clients who are eligible to file for divorce in New Jersey,  Equitable Mediation Services is able to service clients no matter where they live.  Adding three new Bergen County office locations is in line with the Equitable Mediation philosophy of reducing the stress of an already uncomfortable situation by being where the clients need divorce mediation services the most. For information on the new Equitable Mediation Services office locations, please see the addresses below.

• Paramus Divorce Mediation: 140 East Ridgewood Avenue – Paramus, New Jersey
• Saddle Brook Divorce Mediation: (the Park 80 West building)- 250 Pehle Avenue, Suite 200 – Saddle Brook, New Jersey
• Hackensack Divorce Mediation (opening winter 2012) – 401 Hackensack Avenue – Suite 200 – Hackensack, New Jersey

If you have any questions about divorce mediation in NJ or our services, please call us at (908) 864-2177.

The second financial issue we face with Child Support is that of ordinary versus extraordinary expenses.  It’s a fallacy that the Child Support guidelines cover everything: they do not.  There are expenses that you as parents will incur that are not in the child support guidelines.  Car insurance for the child is one obvious example but what about less obvious examples like clothing?  Sure if a child needs some new socks that’s in the Child Support award but back-to-school shopping is not.   By taking the time to understand each child’s unique needs, we can ensure we properly outline what’s in and what’s out of Child Support and make sure again, the children get the financial resources they need.

Finally it’s important we understand that both parents are paying Child Support.  In 100% of the cases, one party is providing funds to the other party for what appears to be child support.  Typically the argument goes like this “I’m giving you $XXXX in Child Support and that should be more than enough for you to live on!”  There are two things wrong with this statement:

1. Child Supportt is for the children’s expenses, not the ex-spouses’ so they are not “living” off this money as the children are using 100% of those funds for their day to day expenses.
2. Both parties are paying Child Support so this check that is being written is for one party’s share of the support.  It by no means covers 100% of the children’s expenses.

The bottom line is your children will need resources from both of you in order to lead happy and healthy lives and it’s up to the both of you as parents to provide those resources.  By being aware of the financial issues surrounding Child Support up front, we can come to an agreement that has each of you contributing to your child’s well-being and allowing them to lead happy and healthy lives.  Remember you may no longer be husband and wife but you’ll always be mom and dad.

Have questions about Child Support?  Please give our office a call at (908) 864-2177 as we’d be more than happy to help.

That being said, when it comes to back to school shopping there are a few things NJ divorce mediators know.  First is it’s hard to predict the exact amount of money you are going to spend on your children as styles change, needs change, they outgrow things  the amount of money you spend on clothing is going to vary wildly.  Second if you’re like my mom, we did the shopping twice a year: once in the fall and once in the spring.  Admittedly the spring wasn’t as big a deal since most of the financial damage seemed to be done in the fall but still, there was a second round of funding needed to support my burgeoning style consciousness.  And finally, when it came to knowing what other unusual event was going to crop up during the year that I needed yet another set of clothing for (Sadie Hawkins Day Dance anyone?) that too went on the tab and down went mom’s bank account balance.

The point is this:  when it comes to calculating a child support amount remember that there will still be items that are not covered in the child support guidelines, even though those items are covered by the child support guidelines. Confused?  You should be and that’s where NJ divorce mediators like me come in.  By walking both of you through calculating child support in New Jersey and helping you both understand what’s in and what’s out, your children will not become the economic victims of divorce and you can continue to do as you’ve always done and that is be the best parents you can be for your children, regardless of your marital status.

If you or your spouse has a question about child support in New Jersey, please feel free to call our offices at (908) 864-2177 and we’d be happy to explain child support and help you and your spouse understand the mediation process in more detail.

Most people think of a Divorce Mediator in NJ as someone they talk to when they are going through a divorce and need mediation services but the truth is, many of the issues we discuss in divorce mediation are the same issues that pop up post-divorce.  Of the four main issues we discuss in session, really only equitable distribution is the one in which there can be the cleanest break.  Certainly even equitable distribution can have it’s share of entanglements such as in the case when two parties cannot afford to sell the marital home when divorcing and decide to keep it until such time when they can but for the most part, the issues I see time and time again that crop up post-divorce are those involving our children so I have to ask you as parents: do you think the NJ courts are best suited to handle issues of parenting or do you think mom and dad are?  I would bet mom and dad are and so that’s why you should come to mediation: to work through the issues to ensure that your children do not become the economic victims of divorce and that you as parents provide for them the NJ child support they need to get the best start in life towards a a brighter future.

My name is Joseph Dillon and I am an Accredited Professional Divorce Mediator in NJ.  Please feel free to give me a call at (908) 864-2177 and I’d be happy to contact you to discuss NJ child support in your particular situation and see if mediation is right for you and your children.

You may be wondering what good does getting more in alimony do if the child support is going to go down?  Flash back to what I said earlier: you are both paying child support and what has simply happened is since the income of the parties have shifted the income available to each party to share in the children’s everyday care has shifted with one party now having more (alimony recipient) and one party now having less (alimony payor.)  This in turn impacts the child support formula and makes the child support number appear to go down but in reality, it hasn’t changed all that much.  It’s the amount of expenses each of you would be responsible for that changes and in turn, the amount of the check that one party writes to the other to cover the difference in their obligations is reduced.  Confused?  You’re not alone.

In short to answer the question of how does alimony impact child support:

1. The amount of overall child support remains (relatively) constant – i.e. no impact to the children.
2. It increases one party’s ability to pay for everyday expenses while decreasing the others.
3. The proportion of the parties incomes changes which may impact how much each of you spends on extraordinary expenses if you chose to share them in proportion to your current incomes.

That’s why it is critical you speak with an Accredited Professional NJ Divorce Mediator like myself who can help you navigate the complex financial inter-workings of child support and alimony.  No Internet calculator is going to be able to replicate what a session with an experienced mediator can do so please call NJ Divorce Mediator Joseph Dillon at (908) 864-2177 and I’ll be happy to help any way I can.

I had a post divorce client a few years back who came to me regarding the issue of football camp.  It seems dad had played college football and thought that “his” son  (who was a freshman in high school at the time) should too and so he wanted to send him to a special football camp that was rather expensive.  Turns out mom was never a fan of son playing football and so she objected to paying for it because as she stated “the child support guidelines call this an extraordinary expense and so it’s not in child support and therefore we are to discuss this and if we don’t agree I don’t have to pay.”  I know in my Memorandum of Understanding I have a clause that states the parties are to discuss extraordinary expenses before making any decisions and if they can’t agree and one party still wants to spend the money, then the costs will be borne exclusively by them.  This sets up an interesting dilemma: wouldn’t one party constantly say no and let the other party pay 100% of all extraordinary expenses?  I guess but that doesn’t seem right, does it?  Was mom being unreasonable to not pay given her disdain for football or was dad unreasonable for wanting her to share in the cost to send their son to camp to play a sport she isn’t fond of?

Because when we mediate it’s “adults only,” in the example above the son would not be present for this discussion and wouldn’t necessarily have a say in the outcome.  But if we could ask him, what do we think he’d say?  As the mediator, it’s my job to advocate for the children when necessary and ask the questions of the parents that either lead them to consider what their child would say or to determine what’s in the best interest of their child and let them be supportive parents, no matter what the child support guidelines say.

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Joseph Dillon is an Accredited Professional Divorce Mediator in New Jersey and a Managing Partner of Equitable Mediation Services a NJ mediation practice serving central and northern New Jersey. Mr. Dillon can be reached at (908) 864-2177.