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Calculating Alimony in New Jersey

Calculating alimony in New Jersey is far and away the most popular search that brings visitors to the Equitable Mediation Services website and for good reason:  it’s the one area of divorce in NJ that has no formula or official guidelines and creates the most potential for disagreement during mediation sessions.  Unlike child support which has a formula and a software program to calculate it, alimony has no such formula but rather a series of 13 “factors” (if anyone can explain a factor to me, I’m all ears) to help the parties decide what an appropriate amount of spousal support would be in their particular case.  That being said, calculating alimony in New Jersey provides the most unique challenge for divorcing couples and is the topic I traditionally save for last to discuss.

Regardless of the lack of formulas or software programs, the reality is we need to arrive at a spousal support number so how do we do this?  In a nutshell, we use a budget based approach which has each party determining what their marital as well as post-marital lifestyles look like, attempting to estimate their cost of living and then coming to terms on an amount that will allow each party to live a lifestyle relative comparable to the other party.  Sound complicated?  It is.  That’s why I recommend working with a NJ divorce mediator who can help you and your spouse come to terms on an amount of alimony that you each find agreeable and use that as a basis for working with a divorce coach to plan you new life.

By using limited issue mediation, your NJ divorce mediator will work with you on one or more of the issues you face prior to you entering or while you are engaged in the divorce mediation process or help you and your spouse resolve a single issue that you face such as alimony while engaged in another more contentious divorce process such as collaborative divorce or litigation.   By using mediation to calculate alimony in New Jersey you and your spouse can avoid the heartache and significant cost of a protracted legal battle that hiring lawyers and fighting it out will most certainly bring.   Since there is no easy way to come up with a spousal support number, mediation is the perfect forum for doing so since it eliminates the traditional back and forth and win-lose battle that can raise both your blood pressure as well as your legal bill.  We sit down and discuss things face to face like adults, instead of  hiding behind a constant barrage of well crafted and utterly incomprehensible letters drafted by a team of attorneys outlining a series of demands.  I always love when I see a letter like that outlining demands. I wonder to myself – is this a divorce or a kidnapping?

Have a question about calculating alimony in New Jersey?  Please give us a call at (908) 864-2177 and we’d be happy to meet with you and your spouse to discuss the specifics of your situation and help explain how divorce mediation can be of assistance in your particular case.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Financial Issues in Divorce Mediation: Alimony

When it comes to divorce, three of the four the main issues covered in mediation are financial in nature as child support, equitable distribution and today’s topic alimony / spousal support all involve “dollars and sense.”  As with previous divorce mediation articles in this series (you can read the previous ones by clicking on these links for Equitable Distribution and Child Support) I’d like to present a few things to keep in mind when it comes to the discussion of spousal support / alimony.

First is the alimony formula in New Jersey.  There isn’t one.  I can’t tell you how many times I get asked during divorce mediation sessions to “run the formula” or tell someone approximately how much spousal support they are entitled to.  The reality is this: alimony is a conversation between two parties (well three if you count your divorce mediator) that is budget-based and varies from party to party.  Unlike child support which is formula driven, spousal support has no such software program and therefore needs to be based on something other than a guideline. Therefore it is critical that you each prepare a detailed budget in order to fully understand what your post-marital lifestyle will look like and to determine the amount of funds you will need in order to both live.

Second, alimony is not meant to enrich one party while bankrupting the other nor is it meant to act as retribution for what one of you may have perceived as “bad behavior” during your  marriage.  Spousal support is meant to assist one party to establish a separate lifestyle independent of the marriage but the party that is receiving alimony should also contribute to their financial well-being.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard during their divorce mediation session a recipient state they are going to rely solely on the spousal support coming from the other party.   What happens if the paying party loses their job or gets hit by a bus?   Like a good investing strategy, you never want to put all of your eggs in one basket and relying solely on your ex-spouse to provide 100% of your financial security is a critical mistake.

Finally don’t forget to plan for savings, emergencies and retirement when considering how much spousal support you are going to ask for.  Often times I see budgets come back from the party who may be receiving alimony and there is nothing budgeted for savings.  At some point your ex-spouse will retire and most likely ask for a reduction in the amount of support they pay you or request that the payment be eliminated altogether.   Or if during equitable distribution, you received the marital home, I’m sure at some point you’re going to need to make a repair and you will need to have set aside funds to do that.

These are just a few of the financial issue in divorce mediation that I see when it comes to alimony so it’s important you do your homework and work with you mediator to determine what an appropriate amount of spousal support would be in your case.  If you have any questions about alimony or divorce mediation in general, please give our offices a call at (908) 864-2177 as we’re always glad to help.

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