Need Help with Child Support After Divorce?

It’s no surprise that children get older (although we wish they didn’t) and so the need to revisit the NJ child support calculations from time to time may be necessary as their expenses and circumstances change.  With the help of an Accredited Professional Divorce Mediator in NJ like myself, I can help you and your ex-spouse recalculate both the standard NJ child support guidelines as well as help both of you come to agreements on other “support of your child” type expenses such as college, car insurance, sports teams registrations, tutoring / SAT preparation and college applications all of which can add up to quite a bit of money these days.  Did you know that the law allows for an increase to NJ child support in some cases when a child turns 12 years old?  What happens to NJ child support if a child commutes to college and is still living at home?  The parent with whom the child is residing is still incurring expenses, aren’t they and shouldn’t there be some type of support?  How much should that NJ child support be and how is calculated?  All excellent questions for an Accredited Professional NJ Mediator.

Most people think of a Divorce Mediator in NJ as someone they talk to when they are going through a divorce and need mediation services but the truth is, many of the issues we discuss in divorce mediation are the same issues that pop up post-divorce.  Of the four main issues we discuss in session, really only equitable distribution is the one in which there can be the cleanest break.  Certainly even equitable distribution can have it’s share of entanglements such as in the case when two parties cannot afford to sell the marital home when divorcing and decide to keep it until such time when they can but for the most part, the issues I see time and time again that crop up post-divorce are those involving our children so I have to ask you as parents: do you think the NJ courts are best suited to handle issues of parenting or do you think mom and dad are?  I would bet mom and dad are and so that’s why you should come to mediation: to work through the issues to ensure that your children do not become the economic victims of divorce and that you as parents provide for them the NJ child support they need to get the best start in life towards a a brighter future.

My name is Joseph Dillon and I am an Accredited Professional Divorce Mediator in NJ.  Please feel free to give me a call at (908) 864-2177 and I’d be happy to contact you to discuss NJ child support in your particular situation and see if mediation is right for you and your children.

Divorce Mediation NJ, Alimony and Insurnace

One of the hardest conversations we have in divorce mediation is spousal support (formerly known as alimony) because it is fraught with emotion and there is no specific formula for how to calculate it.  The alimony “statutory factors” that come into play (in the opinion of this NJ divorce mediator) are pretty much useless but in addition to figuring out spousal support, there is one more thing we need to talk about and that’s insurance for the monthly alimony payment.

There are two types of insurance we discuss in NJ divorce mediation when it comes to spousal support:

1. Life Insurance – in my experience as a NJ divorce mediator most couples think of life insurance when it comes to alimony but that’s only half the equation.  We look at the value and duration of the payments from one spouse to another and have a policy that covers the spousal support obligation should the paying spouse pass away.  As the alimony obligation is satisfied over the years, the paying spouse can either reduce the amount of life insurance or change the beneficiaries so that the benefit is paid out in a different proportion to multiple payees such as a new spouse or children.  The NJ divorce mediator should include provisions to allow the recipient spouse the ability to receive proof of payment for the policy premium and check their status as beneficiary.
2. Disability Insurance – most NJ divorce mediation couples forget about what if the paying spouse isn’t dead but is unable to work?  But while most people think of life insurance as a critical part of their financial future, many forget disability insurance since even though they may be injured, their alimony obligation may continue and having the right amount of disability insurance can help cover the ongoing spousal support.

If you’re one of the fortunate people who has disability insurance through your current employer, there are a few points I need to caution you on.  First your employer’s benefit may be limited to only a fraction of your pay – more employers are cutting back on this benefit so if they even offer it at all, it may not pay out like you think.  Check with your HR department to be sure.  Second you should understand how short-term disability and long-term disability work as the benefits may be different.  Finally ask yourself what happens if your ex-spouse changes jobs.  How will you know they have disability insurance with their new employer?  Purchasing a long-term disability insurance policy may be your best bet as coverage can be rather inexpensive and cost as little as $15-$20 per month.  To this NJ divorce mediator that’s a small price to pay for peace of mind no matter what your spousal support or alimony obligation may be.

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Joseph Dillon is an Accredited Professional NJ divorce mediator and Managing Partner of Equitable Mediation Services a New Jersey divorce mediation practice with offices in: Morristown, Roseland (Livingston), Short Hills, Iselin (Metropark), Bedminster, Bridgewater, East Brunswick, Red Bank and Princeton.  Mr. Dillon may be reached by calling (908) 864-2177.

What’s NJ Divorce Mediation Got To Do With Jenga?

For those of you who are unfamiliar with Jenga, it’s a game in which participants set up a tower made of interlocking blocks and take turns removing blocks from the bottom of the tower and placing them at the top of the tower until someone topples the tower and the game is over.  So what does this have to do with NJ divorce mediation you ask?  NJ divorce mediation is what I call an “iterative process” which is defined as: A process for arriving at a decision or a desired result by repeating rounds of analysis or a cycle of operations. Every step of the process we take is moving us closer and closer towards what the party’s deem to be a fair and equitable resolution which then is outlined in the parties’ Memorandum of Understanding (MOU).  In most cases, NJ divorce mediation is not a linear process where everything goes perfectly the first time around.  More often than not, it can be “two steps forward, one step back” but that’s OK too as long as we continue to make progress which brings me to the point of this article.

Like the game Jenga in which the tower eventually falls over because too many of the building blocks were removed and its support structure was compromised, NJ divorce mediation falls apart if the parties continue to revisit agreements already made and continue to try and change them once they were deemed resolved.  Does this mean that every decision you make in NJ divorce mediation is set in stone?  Absolutely not!  Does this mean that in light of new information, you should still stick with a decision you made in the past just so you don’t knock the process off track and can get to the completion of your MOU?  No.  You are absolutely free to change your mind at any time and in fact, since NJ divorce mediation is a voluntary process, you can even choose to exit the process if you feel it isn’t getting you a fair and equitable result.  But since progress in NJ divorce mediation is built on making decisions which serve as the basis for the next set of decisions, one must be careful not to upend too much of the progress or the mediation will fail and the tower will fall down.  So if you find yourself asking what’s NJ divorce mediation got to do with Jenga, now you know. I’m betting you’ll never look at board games the same way ever again…

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Joseph Dillon is an Accredited Professional Divorce Mediator in NJ and Managing Partner of Equitable Mediation Services; a New Jersey divorce mediation service with offices in Morristown, Roseland (Livingston), Short Hills, Bedminster, Bridgewater, Iselin (Metropark) East Brunswick, Red Bank and Princeton, NJ.  Please call us at (908) 864-2177 to learn if NJ divorce mediation is right for you,

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