Divorce Mediation Can Reduce Stress in the Workplace

I was speaking with my friend Bob the other day and he was telling me about an employee he had that was going through a nasty divorce and the impact it was having on both her and her co-workers.  This employee (I’ll call her Allison) was litigating instead of using divorce mediation and things were getting heated.  Allison spent a lot of time on the phone with her attorney and since today’s office environments are more “cube farms” and not offices with doors you can close, everyone in the immediate area could hear the conversations and it was making people uncomfortable.  As a NJ Divorce Mediator I could tell you what to do, but what do you say to Allison if you’re Bob?

I told Bob that given the divorce rates these days, it may be wise for companies to begin offering free seminars on divorce mediation. Although it may be too late for Allison, the benefits of using mediation for divorce are quite substantial.  The average mediated divorce takes about two to three months while the average litigated divorce takes two to three years!  If I were Allison I wouldn’t want to go through that but if I’m Bob, I could be understanding to a point but after a year or two, I would be hard pressed what to do.  Today’s workplace is stressful enough without adding the additional pressure of a litigated divorce. I’m no Human Resources professional but this NJ Divorce Mediator can tell you that the couples I work with experience significantly lower stress using divorce mediation instead of litigating.  Much like with the death of a loved one, going through a divorce requires someone to go through the five stages of grief:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

When you litigate, you are stuck in phases two and three for a much longer period of time than if you were to use divorce mediation and therefore you are prevented from moving to the fifth stage (acceptance) for a very long time.  You are caught in the circle of stage two and three and you bargain, get angry, call your lawyer, bargain more, get even angrier, call your lawyer, etc.  With the help of a NJ Divorce Mediator you and your spouse will work through stage two while you’re working out your mediated settlement (stage three) allowing you to move on to the acceptance stage much faster than if you were to litigate.  Certainly not where you thought you would be when you first got married but definitely better than being stuck in the infinite loop of anger and bargaining, trust me.

If you have any questions about divorce mediation in NJ or how using mediation for divorce can benefit you, please feel free to contact Equitable Mediation Services to schedule a consultation in one of our Northern or Central New Jersey office locations.  Or feel free to visit the Equitable Mediation Services website where you’ll find lots of great information about parenting plans, equitable distribution, NJ child support and spousal support / alimony and contact Accredited Professional NJ Divorce Mediator Joseph Dillon when you’re ready.