Collaborative Divorce Still Not the Way to Go

As a mediator in NJ I enjoy discussing the benefits of divorce mediation (which makes sense since I am an Accredited Professional Mediator) but it may give you the impression that I have a slight bias in my opinion of collaborative divorce as a poor substitute for mediation.   Based on a recent article in Crane’s Chicago Business featuring a story called “Collaborative law aims for a kinder divorce; how’s that working out?” It seems I’m not alone in my opinion that the answer is poorly.

Here are some actual quotes from the article:

• The idea of a drama-free divorce appealed to them both. But they didn’t make it through the process and are now spending even more time in the courtroom. In his lawsuit, Dr. Schacht accuses Dr. Hart’s attorney, James Galvin, and his firm, Schiller DuCanto & Fleck LLP in Chicago, of dragging their feet in order to “add to the cost of billing.” This, he says, violates a main tenet of Collaborative law, which requires attorneys to operate in good faith and in a timely way.
• “It’s a boondoggle,” he says. “Collaborative law is the … trend of the week.”
• Though costs can vary widely, a regular divorce might cost $78,000, with an attorney working five hours a week at $300 per hour for a year, the typical length of a case. An ideal collaborative divorce case costs half that ($39,000)…
• Danielle Engstrom, …says the process moved too quickly for her liking … “I felt hurried.”
• “You have to have a lawyer who can put away the competitive instincts of litigation and go into problem-solving mode,” says Don Schiller. “Most lawyers who go into trial work are advocates and tend to want to win for clients.”
• Leon Finkel, is among divorce attorneys who have taken cases of parties who tried but failed to divorce collaboratively. He points to a recent case in which the husband, spent $35,000 on a collaborative divorce case that went on for a year before he quit and went the litigation route.
• Mr. Finkel said his client felt meetings were held with his ex-wife and their lawyers simply to rack up costs. “He felt (collaborative) lawyers had an obligation to tell him it wasn’t working . . . but instead they dragged it on,” Mr. Finkel says.
• The method … creates a cottage industry for lawyers who can’t stomach the stress and aggravation of trying a case and “does nothing to serve the client at all.”

With divorce mediation:

• You control the costs as your Mediator will help you to do much of the work yourself.  The average mediation costs between $5,000 and $7,000, not the $39,000 that a collaborative divorce does.
• Mediation has been used since ancient Roman times so it is certainly not the trend of the week.
• Mediators in New Jersey are neutral third parties who don’t take sides.  That’s why it’s even more important to select an Accredited Professional Mediator who is truly a Mediator and not simply an attorney pretending to be one.
• Our only goals as Mediators is to help you and your spouse come to an agreement that works for both of you.  You control the process and decide when it’s not working, not the other way around and if on the off chance that it doesn’t work out for you, you don’t lose all the progress you made like you do with a collaborative divorce.

If you have any questions about divorce mediation and why it’s the preferred alternative to a collaborative divorce please feel free to call us at (908) 864-2177 or e-mail us and we’d be happy to schedule a time for you and your spouse to come in to learn more.