Health Insurance and Divorce Mediation in NJ

One of the most difficult issues facing a couple in divorce mediation these days is the issue of health insurance post-divorce.  You would think it would be spousal support / alimony or child support but oddly enough, the couples we see at Equitable Mediation Services manage to agree on these topics just fine 99% of the time.   I’ll spare you my soapbox lecture about health care in this country for another day as I’m a NJ divorce mediator and not a politician but suffice to say, often times the options aren’t good.

First is the idea of divorce from bed and board.  In New Jersey, there are no provisions for legal separation so divorce from bed and board was thought of as a way for couples to go through equitable distribution yet still be legally married.  This was especially important to couples where divorce may be viewed as a sin in certain religious circles.  A side benefit was it allowed couples to remain on each others health insurance plans since they were still technically married but over the years insurance companies have caught on to this and many have disallowed it explicitly.  Notice I said many and not all so perhaps this is an option you can consider just be sure to check with your insurance company and an attorney before you proceed.

Second is to just ask.  Because divorce is more prevalent in today’s society, some insurance companies are allowing ex-spouses to remain on policies at the same rate for up to three years, giving them time to consider their options when they’re through the divorce process and are thinking a bit more clearly.  That being said, it’s important your NJ divorce mediator puts this clause in the Memorandum of Understanding and outlines how long you will access to the insurance as well as how is it paid for.

Third is the option of COBRA.  From the Department of Labor’s website:  “COBRA provides certain former employees, retirees, spouses, former spouses, and dependent children the right to temporary continuation of health coverage at group rates. This coverage, however, is only available when coverage is lost due to certain specific events.” If negotiated during divorce mediation, you as an ex-spouse may have the option of paying for the insurance  you once had provided to you by your soon to be ex-spouse for a period of 18 months.  And while yes it will be more than expensive than it was before, at least it will give you time to consider your options while remaining covered.  Again make sure your NJ divorce mediator puts this clause in the Memorandum of Understanding.

If you have any questions about divorce mediation in NJ using mediation for divorce or how hiring a NJ divorce mediator can benefit you, please feel free to contact Equitable Mediation Services to schedule a free, no-obligation consultation in one of our nine North or Central New Jersey office locations.  Or feel free to visit the Equitable Mediation Services website where you’ll find lots of great information about parenting plans, equitable distribution, NJ child support and spousal support / alimony and contact us when you’re ready.

DISCLAIMER: This article is not intended to give any legal advice and I am neither for or against using any of these options in your particular circumstances so be sure to check with the appropriate sources to determine the feasibility or applicability in your particular situation.

How to Prepare For and Win at Divorce Mediation

Part of being an Accredited Professional Divorce Mediator in New Jersey is a continuing education process that has me reading books and articles and staying on top of changes in divorce law in NJ that may affect your settlement or learning a new techniques to further help the clients of Equitable Mediation Services.  So when I saw a book on Amazon.com entitled “How to Prepare for and Win at Divorce Mediation” I just knew I had to have a look as my first reaction was “what kind of a person would write such a book?  Don’t they know you don’t win at divorce mediation?”  Thankfully the book is no longer being published and is out of stock but the description was pretty telling because even though I’ve never met the author personally, if I had to take a guess, I’d bet the farm that it was written by an attorney claiming to be a divorce mediator.  How do I know this?  Because the point of divorce mediation is not to win but rather peacefully and efficiently settle your differences in a fair and equitable manner and for that very reason alone, most attorneys do not make a good NJ divorce mediator.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are times when you need a strong advocate that can win something for you.  Say you get in a car accident and the other party has no insurance or you get hit on the head with a box from a large home improvement store and are out of work for a few months – that’s when you need to win.  But what does it mean to win at divorce mediation?  By getting more, have you really won?  More importantly, by taking more than you would otherwise under the premises of equitable distribution what have you lost?  Have you lost the respect of someone who you once cared for deeply and may be the co-parent of your children?  And while we’re on the subject, how about your children?  Have you taken so much that your children may view that as being selfish or a direct assault on their future well-being as they may be forced to live a lifestyle that is no longer on par with their current one?  Certainly these are rather weighty philosophical issues one must contend with but in fairness, so is divorce.  So if you’re looking to win by engaging in divorce mediation then you’ve got the process all wrong as it’s not a mediation service you seek but rather an attorney to create an adversarial environment, prolong the fight and drain your bank account in the process. But if you would like to engage the services of a NJ divorce mediator who understands that there are no winners when it comes to divorce, give me a call at (908) 864-2177 and I’d be glad to help you both get through it with as little impact to you and your family as possible.

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If you have any questions about divorce mediation in NJ using mediation for divorce or how hiring a NJ divorce mediator can benefit you, please feel free to contact Equitable Mediation Services @ (908) 864-2177 or feel free to visit the Equitable Mediation Services website where you’ll find lots of great information about parenting plans, equitable distribution, NJ child support and spousal support / alimony and contact us when you’re ready.

Using a Short Sale in Divorce Mediation

More and more these days we here at Equitable Mediation Services are working with divorcing clients who’s homes are worth less than they paid for them and in some cases, less that they owe on the mortgage. This presents a real dilemma during equitable distribution conversations as traditionally, divorcing couples would use the proceeds from the sale of the marital home to pay off any debt and use the remaining balance to start their new, single lives.   So what do you do if during a divorce mediation session you come to find out that the debt on your home is greater than it’s value?  You may wish to consider a short sale or the marital home.

A short sale is the sale of a home when the sales proceeds don’t fully pay off the existing mortgage or home equity loans.  Short sales have become more common these days as banks look to avoid the foreclosure process as it’s not only expensive for them to go through but it leaves them with an asset (the marital home) that they don’t necessarily want.  As any homeowner can tell you cutting the grass, removing the snow and cleaning the place is a full-time job.  But if the house is foreclosed on and the homeowner is the bank, there will be no one in the house on a daily basis to perform upkeep on the property and it will fall into disarray.  That’s why more and more, banks are willing to consider a short sale especially for folks who are in divorce mediation.

Not everyone qualifies for a short sale.  If you spent the last 5 years cruising around the world, bought 10 big screen televisions and own a Ferrari and now you can’t pay your mortgage, you’re probably not going to qualify.  But if you fall into one of the legitimate hardship categories that lenders are willing to consider (and being in divorce mediation is one of them) then you have a much better chance at being approved.  Getting approved for a short sale is a difficult thing and you need to make sure you have a real estate agent who is well versed in the process.  Much like when any crisis occurs, there will always be charlatan’s who claim to be short sale experts but when considering an agent to engage in a short sale with, be sure to ask them about their experience, their success rate and to show you a sample of a short sale application they’ve filed on behalf of another client as information is key. If you provide the bank with everything they need to make an informed decision, and most of those documents would have been collected during the equitable distribution part of the divorce mediation process, you will have a much better chance at success.

Joseph Dillon is a Professional Accredited Divorce Mediator in NJ and the owner of Equitable Mediation Services a New Jersey divorce mediation practice serving Somerset, Mercer, Middlesex, Essex, Morris, Monmouth and Hunterdon counties including the towns of Edison, Parsippany, East Brunswick, West Orange, Bridgewater, South Brunswick, Hillsborough, Livingston, Randolph, Maplewood, West Windsor, Summit, Plainsboro, Millburn, Morristown, Montgomery, Madison, Readington, Branchburg, Warren, Princeton, Metuchen, Lawrenceville, Pennington, Short Hills, Bernards, Bedminster, Colts Neck, Holmdel, Roseland, Montclair and surrounding areas.

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