Can I Mediate My Divorce?

Yes.

There, now you don’t have to read the rest of the post but in reality, it’s a little more complicated than that, but not much.  As a NJ divorce mediator I am often asked by couples in the offices of Equitable Mediation Services if they are good candidates for mediation and I reply with one simple question: do you want to be?  Because mediation is a voluntary process, anyone can choose to mediate their divorce but at the end of the day, it also means that anyone can leave the mediation session at any time so the number one factor in whether or not you can mediate your divorce is you.

Is it difficult to sit in the same room with someone who is soon to be your ex-spouse and try to peacefully work through the four major areas of your divorce (parenting plans, equitable distribution, NJ child support and spousal support / alimony) sure it is but you can do it.  Are there times you wish you weren’t there and that it seems like no progress is being made and no one is happy with the direction things are headed?  Absolutely.  But at the end of the day I can tell you as a Divorce Mediator in NJ who has worked with couples just like you, your chances of success in mediation are 98%.  Sure it seems like a made up number but at the end of the day the NJ courts and this NJ divorce mediator share the same opinion on the success rate of mediation for divorcing couples and that is 98%.  There will always be that 2% that walks away or misses the point that mediation is supposed to be a collaborative effort and not a venue to air your grievances.  The time for arguing has come and gone and it’s now time to move on with your lives.  To work through your settlement and come to a fair and equitable agreement that works for both of you and your children, when applicable.  But if you’d like to continue the fight, prolong your misery and spend tons of money, then no, divorce mediation is not for you.

So at the end of the day what are you left with?  Well if you’re going to get the same result, in less time, with less stress and save at least $20,000 in the process, I know what option I would choose if I were you but then again, much like being in mediation, I can’t tell you what to do.  All I can do is present you with information about the benefits of mediation and you still both choose to take the litigious route, then so be it.

But don’t say I didn’t warn you…

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Joseph Dillon is a Professional Accredited Divorce Mediator in NJ and the owner of Equitable Mediation Services a New Jersey divorce mediation practice serving Somerset, Mercer, Middlesex, Essex, Morris, Monmouth and Hunterdon counties including the towns of Edison, Parsippany, East Brunswick, West Orange, Bridgewater, South Brunswick, Hillsborough, Livingston, Randolph, Maplewood, West Windsor, Summit, Plainsboro, Millburn, Morristown, Montgomery, Madison, Readington, Branchburg, Warren, Princeton, Metuchen, Lawrenceville, Pennington, Short Hills, Bernards, Bedminster, Colts Neck, Holmdel, Roseland, Montclair and surrounding areas.