Even Judges Know NJ Divorce Mediation Works

You would think by now that people would know NJ divorce mediation is the only way that one should even consider getting a divorce but alas, only a small percentage of couples are smart enough to use a mediation service as a means to peacefully and efficiently resolve their differences and come to a fair and equitable distribution of their marital assets and liabilities.  If you’re like most New Jersey couples contemplating a divorce, you’ve probably spoken to your friends and family but what about a family court judge?  Well this NJ divorce mediator had just that opportunity and the results may surprise you.

For regular readers of the Equitable Mediation Services blog, you’ve seen me write about the benefits of divorce mediation in NJ and how couples who use it get much better outcomes in much less time and for a fraction of what a typical divorce would cost if you were to involve attorneys.   Much to my surprise, the same sentiments were repeated in a seminar given by this family court judge as she espoused as follows:

• On equitable distribution – “couples are encouraged to try to work together before coming to court to determine the value of their assets and liabilities and outline what each party will get as a result of the divorce.” Through an extensive discovery, analysis and review process, this is exactly what we do during the NJ divorce mediation process, producing a fair and equitable result that both parties can agree to.
• On going to court – “people are encouraged to mediate before coming to court because if they get in front of a judge, both parties are likely to not be happy with the result.  You are going to have your settlement determined by someone who is a complete stranger to you and doesn’t know what each of you wants or need as individuals and is only going to be able to make a ruling based on the limited information presented to them in a very short period of time.” As a divorce mediator in New Jersey I know I sound like a broken record when I say mediation allows you to control your future by agreeing to a settlement that works for both of you.  Both sides are encouraged to work together to get what’s most important to them while compromising and offering the other party something of equal value in return.
• On the legal system and rules of court - “there are 2300 pages of rules of court and thousands of pages of laws and trying to navigate it all is challenging to even the most experienced legal professionals.” By using a NJ divorce mediation professional such as myself, I will work with each of you to educate you on the rules and laws that affect your particular case and focus in on the issues that matter most to you and your family.  You’re not like everybody else so why should you subject yourself to such a generic process as going to court?

I understand the decision to divorce is not an easy one but once it is made, the choice on how to proceed with your divorce is up to you.  Do you take the expensive and contentious road and hire attorneys to hash it out or do you sit down and with the help of a NJ divorce mediator work together to design a settlement that works for both of you and your children?  If you believe the judge, I think the choice is obvious.  Don’t you?