Divorce Mediation in New Jersey is a Voluntary Process

I would estimate more than half of the individuals who call Equitable Mediation Services seeking a divorce mediation service in NJ are from couples in which one party has made the decision to divorce but the other is either reluctant or not willing to move forward with the idea of a divorce at all.  This puts the parties in a difficult situation since as the old saying goes it takes two people to get married in New Jersey but it only takes one to get divorced, they are now at a fork in the road.  Does the individual who is ready to proceed with divorce and possibly mediation wait for the other individual to “become ready” and then they move forward or does the individual who is ready now, hire an attorney, file with the courts and start the whole ugly process of divorce moving forward like a runaway train?

As the title suggests, divorce mediation in NJ is a voluntary process. That is, I as your New Jersey divorce mediator cannot compel either of you to come to either a free consultation or use a mediation service to handle your divorce.  Both of you need to be there willingly (and I use that term loosely since I’m not sure I have worked with too many couples in which both parties were absolutely 100% certain they wanted to move forward with a divorce) and make an honest, good faith effort to peacefully resolve your differences.   But what about the couple where one is ready to move forward and one is reluctant or unwilling?  To them I say this.

You have a choice.  As an adult, we are all the product of the sum of our life experiences.  Every choice we’ve made up until this point in time has helped shape and define who we are and where we are in life.  Some of our choices have led us down paths that will never let us know “what if” we took the other.  Some of our choices are good and some of them are bad but in the end, they are our choices and we have to live with the consequences.  Now you are faced with another very important choice which as studies have shown time and time again, will impact you for the rest of your years on this Earth and that is how do you handle your divorce.

The reality is this: the divorce is moving forward with or without your cooperation as one party does not need permission from another party to file for divorce. So you can either resist it or you can recognize what is happening and make an informed decision and learn more about divorce mediation.  I am certain when you got married you never thought you would have found yourself in this position.  Now you have to face yet another fork in the road of life and deal with the related consequences of your choice.  Do you resist the divorce, have your partner forcibly have it move forward and then have to go hire an attorney and litigate it going financially and emotionally bankrupt in the process or do you do the smart thing and use the services of a NJ divorce mediator and peacefully and efficiently resolve your divorce and let your healing process begin?

If you’re not sure about what your choices really look like, I invite you to have a look at this brochure to learn more about what your alternatives truly arand I will leave you with this: choose wisely.

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Joseph Dillon is a Professional Accredited Divorce Mediator in NJ and the owner of Equitable Mediation Services a New Jersey divorce mediation practice serving Somerset, Mercer, Middlesex, Essex, Morris, Monmouth and Hunterdon counties including the towns of Edison, Parsippany, East Brunswick, West Orange, Bridgewater, South Brunswick, Hillsborough, Livingston, Randolph, Maplewood, West Windsor, Summit, Plainsboro, Millburn, Morristown, Montgomery, Madison, Readington, Branchburg, Warren, Princeton, Metuchen, Lawrenceville, Pennington, Short Hills, Bernards, Bedminster, Colts Neck, Holmdel, Roseland, Montclair and surrounding areas.