Are You Ready for NJ Divorce Mediation?

At this time of year, I get many calls at Equitable Mediation Services from folks interested in learning more about divorce mediation in New Jersey.  Typically their questions involve things like “how do I get started” or “can I schedule an appointment to come talk to you” but before that, we need to answer the most important question of all: are you ready for divorce mediation?  You see unlike the typical adversarial process of hiring a lawyer and litigating, divorce mediation is different in a good way.  Because divorce mediation is a voluntary process in which all participants (the client couple as well as the NJ divorce mediator) are there by their own choosing, the decision to divorce must be made and agreed upon by both parties.  As a Divorce Mediator in NJ I cannot compel either of you to come to mediation nor will I call your spouse on your behalf and ask them to agree to come to a free consultation.  So while I welcome your call and am always happy to answer any questions you might have about divorce mediation or the mediation process, because of my role as a neutral third party, I cannot schedule an appointment with just one of you, I need to see both of you.

So how do you know if you’re ready? Ask yourself this one question: are we both in agreement with the decision to move forward with our divorce? If you answered yes to this question, then now is an appropriate time to contact me. But if you haven’t spoken to your spouse about divorce yet or are just in the early stages of contemplating a divorce but aren’t really sure you want to move forward, then it may be a bit premature to move forward and you should continue to gather information and read the articles on our website until you can both answer yes to this question.  Even if you do both answer yes, does that mean you have to be happy about moving forward or that you’re both getting along and that’s the only time you both can come in for a free consultation or begin the divorce mediation process?  Of course not. If you were, you wouldn’t be seeking the services of a New Jersey divorce mediator like me.

One last thing to keep in mind is that sadly not everyone can use divorce mediation to settle their differences.  If your spouse is just so stubborn that they systematically refuse to move forward with a divorce or if you’re fighting so much that being in the same room and attempting to communicate would be an impossible affair, then perhaps divorce mediation is not for you.  But if you’re like 98% of the couples that call me, even if it’s very early on in the process, then yes, divorce mediation is a possibility.  Just keep in mind the one question that is most important to answer and call me when you’re ready.

###

Joseph Dillon is an Accredited Divorce Mediator in NJ and the owner of and lead mediator for Equitable Mediation Services a New Jersey divorce mediation practice serving Somerset, Mercer, Middlesex, Essex, Morris, Union and Hunterdon counties including the towns of Edison, Parsippany, East Brunswick, West Orange, Bridgewater, South Brunswick, Hillsborough, Livingston, Randolph, Maplewood, West Windsor, Summit, Plainsboro, Millburn, Morristown, Montgomery, Madison, Readington, Branchburg, Warren, Princeton, Metuchen, Lawrenceville, Pennington, Short Hills, Bernards, Bedminster and surrounding areas.