Resolving Post Divorce Issues Through Mediation Part 2

As we mentioned last time, 10% of our clients at Equitable Mediation Services come for post divorce parent coordination with the two most common issues we see being physical custody and today’s issue – child support.  In today’s post we’ll talk about the second of these post divorce parent coordination issues and some of the question you will need to address but first let’s take a look briefly at what child support actually is.  There are three main principles behind the New Jersey Child Support Guidelines:

1. Child support is a continuous duty of both parents as the children belong to both of you; and
2. Children are entitled to share in the current income of both parents and not simply the parent who has custody; and
3. Children should not be the economic victims of divorce.

What is lost in this language is the feeling that one parent invariably has that since they are the one writing the check, it is they who is paying child support.  You see, just because one of you isn’t writing a check, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t incurring expenses on behalf of your children.  For example, if it cost you $2 a week to raise a child and your ex-spouse paid you $1 a week for child support, then you in effect are also “paying” $1 in child support.  By way of you spending that money and paying for those expenses out of your own pocket, you too are paying child support but often times, the check writer does not see it this way is is looking to get their child support adjusted.

If that’s the case, here are some questions to ask your New Jersey mediator and your ex-spouse in order to determine if a child support adjustment may be warranted:

1. Has the physical custody arrangement changed since child support was first calculated? The number of overnights the children spend with each of you is a factor.
2. Has one of your children been emancipated? Depending on your Memorandum of Understanding, a child can be emancipated for a variety of reasons including turning 18, dropping out of school, joining the military, etc.
3. Is one of your children commuting to college? While typically expenses for children who go away to college are handled separately from child support, if a child is commuting, they may still be living at home and incurring expenses.
4. Was child support calculated while your child was older than six but younger than 11? New Jersey allows for a 14.6% “teenager adjustment” to acknowledge that teens cost more to raise but only if a support order was not entered prior to the child’s 6th birthday. This is a complex issue you will want to consult with your NJ mediator on and much too lengthy to discuss in proper detail here.

By thinking through these issues before seeking post divorce parent coordination, you’ll be better prepared to have a productive conversation regarding the financial well-being of your children and be able to come to a fair and equitable agreement.  As the factors listed above state, children should not become the economic victims of divorce and by talking with a New Jersey mediator, you can work together to be sure they don’t.

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Equitable Mediation Services is a New Jersey divorce mediation practice serving Somerset, Mercer, Middlesex, Essex, Morris, Union and Hunterdon counties including the towns of Edison, Parsippany, East Brunswick, West Orange, Bridgewater, South Brunswick, Hillsborough, Livingston, Randolph, Maplewood, West Windsor, Summit, Plainsboro, Millburn, Morristown, Montgomery, Madison, Readington, Branchburg, Warren, Princeton, Metuchen, Lawrenceville, Pennington, Short Hills, Bernards, Bedminster and surrounding areas.