Equitable Mediation Services Offers Divorce Mediation in Short Hills NJ

Equitable Mediation Services is a New Jersey divorce mediation practice serving divorcing couples and their children with both traditional divorce mediation as well as post divorce parent coordination services in Somerset, Mercer, Middlesex, Essex, Morris, and Hunterdon counties and has now brought its practice to Short Hills.  Located at 51 John F Kennedy Parkway, Equitable Mediation Services is committed to helping you and your family get through your divorce with as little impact to everyone as possible and being there when you need us and where you need us is just one of the many ways we can help.  We understand you’ve got enough on your mind and finding a caring, professional and accredited divorce mediator in New Jersey is the last thing you want to worry about so that’s why we make every attempt to bring our practice to a location near you.

You’ll get the same high quality and personalized services that all of our clients have experienced as all mediation sessions are conducted by Accredited NJ Divorce Mediator Joseph F. Dillon with the experience, care and understanding that such a situation requires.  We know that when couples are more relaxed in a setting that is convenient to them, better results are achieved and a better agreement is produced reducing difficulties in both the short and long term which is paramount to any divorcing couples success, especially if they have children.  Divorce is difficult enough so bringing our services closer to you in Short Hills is one of the many ways we try to make it a little bit easier on you and your family.

If you have any questions about divorce mediation or how mediation can benefit you, please feel free to contact us to schedule a free, no-obligation consultation in our Short Hills New Jersey office location where we will take some time to get to know more about you and your situation and see if mediation is right for you.  Of if you’re simply not ready yet, feel free to visit the Equitable Mediation Services website where you’ll find lots of great information about parenting plans, equitable distribution, NJ child support and spousal support / alimony and contact us when you’re ready.  We look forward to helping you get through your divorce peacefully, efficiently and with as little stress on you and your family as possible and look forward to hearing from you when you’re ready.

Another Reason to Use Mediation: Child Support Warrants

In an article in today’s Newark Star Leger, it was reported that 864 warrants were served to delinquent parents who either skipped out on paying child support or that no child support order existed altogether.  The crackdown led to the collection of nearly $165,000 in unpaid child support orders and represented one of the largest sweeps of it’s kind in New Jersey with all 21 counties participating in the operation over a three day period.  As a New Jersey divorce mediator I can tell you that while most divorcing couples understand that child support is an obligation they both have to the children and that children should not become the economic victims of divorce, not everyone fully agrees.  In these cases, it’s often the disagreement the parents have that leads to the child being penalized.  If you surveyed 1000 divorced parents, I could all but guarantee you that 999 of them when asked the question” do you want to be a good parent” would say “yes.”  I’ve never met a person who said “no, I do not want to be a good parent to my child after my divorce.”  So then the question becomes why not pay support?

What we see during post divorce parent coordination is that some disagreement between the two individuals has led to one withholding financial remuneration as a way of penalizing the other parent.  Usually the amounts are rather small in nature with most being less than $50 but after a few years taken in total, they can really add up.   Or if we’re discussing regular child support obligations during divorce mediation sessions, that cover the basics such as food, shelter and clothing, the issue becomes one parent feels they are the only one paying child support.  As we mentioned in our last article, you are both technically paying child support even though one of you is writing the check.  The greatest misunderstanding we have with clients of Equitable Mediation Services is that only one of them is actually paying child support which is simply untrue.  Second in line is the misconception that the amount will be some unreasonable dollar figure that they simply cannot afford (also untrue).  Basic support awards are based on a number of factors such as income of both parties, the number of overnights the children spend with each of you, etc.  Support obligations start as low as $5 a week with the thought being New Jersey simply wants to ensure that you pay something towards the cost of your child.  And while perhaps $5 a week is a lot of money to someone of very modest means, as a parent your responsibility lies with the child.

So what do you do?  You use divorce mediation to settle your differences be they prior to your divorce or after it.  Studies have shown that 50% of all court ordered child support orders are being followed one year later while 85% of mediated child support orders are.  Why do you think this is?  My theory is because no one likes to be told what to do and if you have a hand in creating your own agreement as divorce mediation or post divorce parent coordination allows you to do, you will be more likely to adhere to the tenants of that agreement and your child will get the support and resources they deserve.

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Equitable Mediation Services is a New Jersey divorce mediation practice serving Somerset, Mercer, Middlesex, Essex, Morris, Union and Hunterdon counties including the towns of Edison, Parsippany, East Brunswick, West Orange, Bridgewater, South Brunswick, Hillsborough, Livingston, Randolph, Maplewood, West Windsor, Summit, Plainsboro, Millburn, Morristown, Montgomery, Madison, Readington, Branchburg, Warren, Princeton, Metuchen, Lawrenceville, Pennington, Short Hills, Bernards, Bedminster and surrounding areas.

Resolving Post Divorce Issues Through Mediation Part 2

As we mentioned last time, 10% of our clients at Equitable Mediation Services come for post divorce parent coordination with the two most common issues we see being physical custody and today’s issue – child support.  In today’s post we’ll talk about the second of these post divorce parent coordination issues and some of the question you will need to address but first let’s take a look briefly at what child support actually is.  There are three main principles behind the New Jersey Child Support Guidelines:

1. Child support is a continuous duty of both parents as the children belong to both of you; and
2. Children are entitled to share in the current income of both parents and not simply the parent who has custody; and
3. Children should not be the economic victims of divorce.

What is lost in this language is the feeling that one parent invariably has that since they are the one writing the check, it is they who is paying child support.  You see, just because one of you isn’t writing a check, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t incurring expenses on behalf of your children.  For example, if it cost you $2 a week to raise a child and your ex-spouse paid you $1 a week for child support, then you in effect are also “paying” $1 in child support.  By way of you spending that money and paying for those expenses out of your own pocket, you too are paying child support but often times, the check writer does not see it this way is is looking to get their child support adjusted.

If that’s the case, here are some questions to ask your New Jersey mediator and your ex-spouse in order to determine if a child support adjustment may be warranted:

1. Has the physical custody arrangement changed since child support was first calculated? The number of overnights the children spend with each of you is a factor.
2. Has one of your children been emancipated? Depending on your Memorandum of Understanding, a child can be emancipated for a variety of reasons including turning 18, dropping out of school, joining the military, etc.
3. Is one of your children commuting to college? While typically expenses for children who go away to college are handled separately from child support, if a child is commuting, they may still be living at home and incurring expenses.
4. Was child support calculated while your child was older than six but younger than 11? New Jersey allows for a 14.6% “teenager adjustment” to acknowledge that teens cost more to raise but only if a support order was not entered prior to the child’s 6th birthday. This is a complex issue you will want to consult with your NJ mediator on and much too lengthy to discuss in proper detail here.

By thinking through these issues before seeking post divorce parent coordination, you’ll be better prepared to have a productive conversation regarding the financial well-being of your children and be able to come to a fair and equitable agreement.  As the factors listed above state, children should not become the economic victims of divorce and by talking with a New Jersey mediator, you can work together to be sure they don’t.

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Equitable Mediation Services is a New Jersey divorce mediation practice serving Somerset, Mercer, Middlesex, Essex, Morris, Union and Hunterdon counties including the towns of Edison, Parsippany, East Brunswick, West Orange, Bridgewater, South Brunswick, Hillsborough, Livingston, Randolph, Maplewood, West Windsor, Summit, Plainsboro, Millburn, Morristown, Montgomery, Madison, Readington, Branchburg, Warren, Princeton, Metuchen, Lawrenceville, Pennington, Short Hills, Bernards, Bedminster and surrounding areas.

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