Another Reason to Use Mediation: Child Support Warrants

In an article in today’s Newark Star Leger, it was reported that 864 warrants were served to delinquent parents who either skipped out on paying child support or that no child support order existed altogether.  The crackdown led to the collection of nearly $165,000 in unpaid child support orders and represented one of the largest sweeps of it’s kind in New Jersey with all 21 counties participating in the operation over a three day period.  As a New Jersey divorce mediator I can tell you that while most divorcing couples understand that child support is an obligation they both have to the children and that children should not become the economic victims of divorce, not everyone fully agrees.  In these cases, it’s often the disagreement the parents have that leads to the child being penalized.  If you surveyed 1000 divorced parents, I could all but guarantee you that 999 of them when asked the question” do you want to be a good parent” would say “yes.”  I’ve never met a person who said “no, I do not want to be a good parent to my child after my divorce.”  So then the question becomes why not pay support?

What we see during post divorce parent coordination is that some disagreement between the two individuals has led to one withholding financial remuneration as a way of penalizing the other parent.  Usually the amounts are rather small in nature with most being less than $50 but after a few years taken in total, they can really add up.   Or if we’re discussing regular child support obligations during divorce mediation sessions, that cover the basics such as food, shelter and clothing, the issue becomes one parent feels they are the only one paying child support.  As we mentioned in our last article, you are both technically paying child support even though one of you is writing the check.  The greatest misunderstanding we have with clients of Equitable Mediation Services is that only one of them is actually paying child support which is simply untrue.  Second in line is the misconception that the amount will be some unreasonable dollar figure that they simply cannot afford (also untrue).  Basic support awards are based on a number of factors such as income of both parties, the number of overnights the children spend with each of you, etc.  Support obligations start as low as $5 a week with the thought being New Jersey simply wants to ensure that you pay something towards the cost of your child.  And while perhaps $5 a week is a lot of money to someone of very modest means, as a parent your responsibility lies with the child.

So what do you do?  You use divorce mediation to settle your differences be they prior to your divorce or after it.  Studies have shown that 50% of all court ordered child support orders are being followed one year later while 85% of mediated child support orders are.  Why do you think this is?  My theory is because no one likes to be told what to do and if you have a hand in creating your own agreement as divorce mediation or post divorce parent coordination allows you to do, you will be more likely to adhere to the tenants of that agreement and your child will get the support and resources they deserve.

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Equitable Mediation Services is a New Jersey divorce mediation practice serving Somerset, Mercer, Middlesex, Essex, Morris, Union and Hunterdon counties including the towns of Edison, Parsippany, East Brunswick, West Orange, Bridgewater, South Brunswick, Hillsborough, Livingston, Randolph, Maplewood, West Windsor, Summit, Plainsboro, Millburn, Morristown, Montgomery, Madison, Readington, Branchburg, Warren, Princeton, Metuchen, Lawrenceville, Pennington, Short Hills, Bernards, Bedminster and surrounding areas.