Mediation: Putting the Focus on your Children

For divorcing couples with children (and that represents approximately 80% of the Equitable Mediation Services clientele) the need to have a peaceful divorce is even more critical.  Even thought you will no longer be husband and wife, you will still be mom and dad so as a New Jersey divorce mediator, it is my job to keep both parties attention focused squarely where it belongs (on the children) to preserve the relationship each of you will have with them post-divorce.  Why is this so critically important?  In addition to the endless research studies on the impact of divorce on children, a new survey published today of 4,000 divorced individuals by British Law Firm Mishcon de Reya, found the following equally disturbing data:

• 38% of the children involved in divorce proceedings lost touch with their father post-divorce.
• 20% of  parents admitted to have made the divorce as unpleasant as possible for their partner, regardless of the impact on the children.
• 19% of children said they felt used in the separation process.
• 49% deliberately delayed the legal process in order to secure their desired outcome.
• 68% of parents also admitted they used their children as bargaining tools.

Regardless of how you feel about your soon to be ex, you owe it to your children to use divorce mediation in New Jersey to settle your differences.  So how can a divorce mediator in New Jersey help?  First by designing a parenting plan that works for both of you and your children, we’ll help ensure that your children see both of you as much as possible.  next, with the help of a special software program, we’ll run a variety of NJ child support scenarios taking into account a series of complex factors to ensure that your children don’t become the economic victims of divorce.  Last, we’ll make sure that we discuss the issues that will impact your children 5, 10 15 and even 20 years down the road so that when the time comes, you aren’t arguing over who should do what and having to go back to court and spend who knows how much to resolve an issue that should have been thought of years prior.  With some planning, cooperation and the help of NJ divorce mediator, you can be sure that your relationship with your children will be a positive one for many years to come.

That is until they turn 17 and ask for the keys to the car.  Then you’re on your own…

If you have any questions about divorce mediation or how mediation can benefit you, please feel free to contact us to schedule a free, no-obligation consultation in one of our seven North or Central New Jersey office locations where we will take some time to get to know more about you and your situation and see if mediation is right for you.  Of if you’re simply not ready yet, feel free to visit the Equitable Mediation Services website where you’ll find lots of great information about parenting plans, equitable distribution, NJ child support and spousal support / alimony and contact us when you’re ready.  We look forward to helping you get through your divorce peacefully, efficiently and with as little stress on you and your family as possible.