In today’s economy more than half of the clients we see at Equitable Mediation Services have homes that are worth less than they paid for them, making them “underwater” in value and so what was supposed to be their biggest asset has now become their biggest liability making them feel as if they can’t afford to get a divorce.  But did you know that by using divorce mediation in New Jersey you can work together to outline in detail how to handle even the most toxic of assets including an underwater house?  As a NJ divorce mediator I can tell you there is a common misconception among divorcing couples if one party moves out of the marital home, they relinquish all rights to it as an asset.  And while there may be certain extreme cases which this is true, it’s usually not and arrangements can be made on how to split the house even if one of you moves out.  But moving out is still expensive and could run you more than $1,000+ a month in New Jersey and given the financial pressures you already have is probably not something you want to spend.  That’s where divorce mediation comes in.

When you use a mediation service such as ours, we will help both of you devise a plan that outlines in detail what will happen to you and your assets during and after you divorce.  Have children?  No problem.  We’ll design a parenting plan that allows for each of you to have time with the children alone while the other parent is free to do as they wish even if you’re living together.  Can’t sell the home just yet as the market isn’t quite right?  We’ll help devise an equitable distribution plan that outlines what happens to the marital home during your divorce, after your divorce and in the out years when it’s value is still “underwater.”  Granted living together after you are divorced will be challenging but given that the divorce process itself can take upwards of three to six months, don’t you at least want to get started towards moving on with your new life, even if you hold an assets that might slow you down for just a little while?  Through mediation, you can outline all of the tenets of your divorce, create your plan and begin to live by it, making progress towards your ultimate separation as you go.  Plus, having a memorandum of understanding as to how you will both behave in the short run while you are getting divorced and still living together will cut down tremendously on the fighting and outline more clearly the division of responsibility each of you has during the divorce process.

If this sounds like you, please feel free to contact us to schedule a free, no-obligation consultation in one of our seven North or Central New Jersey office locations where we will take some time to get to know more about you and your situation and see if mediation is right for you.  Of if you’re simply not ready yet, feel free to visit the Equitable Mediation Services website where you’ll find lots of great information about parenting plans, equitable distribution, NJ child support and spousal support / alimony and contact us when you’re ready.  We look forward to helping you get through your divorce peacefully, efficiently and with as little stress on you and your family as possible.

As a New Jersey divorce mediator, I am always on the lookout for interesting articles to pass along to readers of the Equitable Mediation Services blog and one thing I’ve noticed is that many articles have some sort of numbered list such as “four things to know when seeking divorce mediation in New Jersey.”  I guess the marketing guru’s tell you if you want to get noticed, use a numbered list.  Who knows.  But what I do know is today’s idea for a post came from such an article that really caught my attention.  It was entitled “Seven Ways to Succeed in Divorce Court” and I thought to myself “who the heck succeeds in divorce court?”  If you’ve gotten to court, you’ve failed and no matter what the outcome, it will not be pretty.  So I decided to give it a read and I was glad I did because it actually turned out to be a decent article.  Even if the title could use a bit of work.

The author’s point was to use divorce mediation in NJ as a means to avoid divorce court because not going to court was the best way to succeed in court.  Got that?  Me neither but I think what he was trying to say is the best way to settle your divorce is to use a divorce mediation service.  Sure there are many benefits of mediation but one of the most compelling is the feeling of control you each have in determining your own future.  The court system is not as rules-driven as you think because depending on the day, the judge and the lawyers involved, the outcome of two very similar cases could be markedly different depending on a variety of factors.  Do you really want to leave your future to chance and put it in the hands of total strangers that don’t know you, your children or what each of you wants?  Probably not.  But if you had a chance to design your future and what your settlement looked like, wouldn’t you at least want to try it?  That’s where divorce mediation comes in.  With the help of an Accredited Professional Mediator,  you will work together to design your own agreement (also known as the Memorandum of Understanding) and come to a settlement that works for both of you and your children instead of having to live with a court-imposed agreement designed by total strangers that will impact you for the rest of your life.  And given that 95% of couples who use divorce mediation don’t end up in court, you have a pretty decent shot at succeeding, don’t you think?

So if you have any questions about divorce mediation or how mediation can benefit you, please feel free to contact us to schedule a free, no-obligation consultation in one of our seven North or Central New Jersey office locations where we will take some time to get to know more about you and your situation and see if mediation is right for you.  Of if you’re simply not ready yet, feel free to visit the Equitable Mediation Services website where you’ll find lots of great information about parenting plans, equitable distribution, NJ child support and spousal support / alimony and contact us when you’re ready.  We look forward to helping you get through your divorce peacefully, efficiently and with as little stress on you and your family as possible while helping you design a future that works for you.

As a New Jersey divorce mediator, I am often faced with individuals who under the crushing weight of a divorce have a hard time keeping things together and it’s no surprise.  I’ve heard divorce is second only to the death of a loved one in terms of the emotional toll it takes on a person so it’s only natural that it would take over your life but there is a path you can take that puts you in control and helps minimize the toll and it’s called divorce mediation.  Divorce mediation can lift the burden of some of that stress by keeping things in check and focusing the conversation on the issues that matter most at a time when you are prepared to deal with them.  Like the old saying goes “nobody like surprises except on their birthday” and with divorce it’s no different.  When using attorneys to handle your divorce be it through litigating or the still contentious collaborative divorce process, you’re never sure when that next phone call, letter or e-mail is going to come with some new demand or wrinkle and throw you off your game.  Suddenly, you no longer control your own divorce and you’re being reminded of what you’re going through at every turn by someone who quite frankly, could care less about you.

But with divorce mediation, you are in complete control because last time I checked, it was your divorce!  With the help of an accredited professional NJ divorce mediator, you choose where and when you want to talk about your divorce thereby reducing the stress often associated with not knowing where the next surprise is going to come from.  The issues are presented to you in clear, easy to understand terms (I mean really, how stressful is it when you’re being asked to make decisions that will impact you the rest of your life and it’s written in some legalese that sounds like Shakespeare!) and discussed in an organized and efficient manner thereby reducing all the contentious back and forth (and tremendous costs) often associated with divorces involving attorneys.  By taking a measure of control over what is happening to you, your decision making process is clearer and you are able to move on with your life sooner than if you were to relinquish control to a complete stranger.  You probably already feel completely out of control as your world has been turned upside down and so why not empower yourself by using divorce mediation?  Thousands of New Jersey couples have, so why not you?

If you have any questions about divorce mediation or how mediation can benefit you, please feel free to contact us to schedule a free, no-obligation consultation in one of our seven North or Central New Jersey office locations where we will take some time to get to know more about you and your situation and see if mediation is right for you.  Of if you’re simply not ready yet, feel free to visit the Equitable Mediation Services website where you’ll find lots of great information about parenting plans, equitable distribution, NJ child support and spousal support / alimony and contact us when you’re ready.  We look forward to helping you get through your divorce peacefully, efficiently and with as little stress on you and your family as possible.