Another Reason to Mediate Your Divorce

For regular readers of the Equitable Mediation Services blog, you have seen me outline in detail the many benefits of mediation including lower stress, better results and tremendous cost savings of $20,000 or more but did you know that divorce mediation is completely private and that couples who mediate their divorce in New Jersey enjoy the same confidentiality and professional/client privilege that people seeing a doctor do?  As a New Jersey divorce mediator when I sit with clients during their initial free consultation, I ask them about their thoughts on privacy and pose to them this question: “as a courtroom is a public place and anyone is welcome to sit in any courtroom at any time, how would you feel if you looked in the back row and saw your neighbor sitting there?”  That is the chance you take when you use an attorney and litigate your divorce.  I don’t know about you, but if I were getting divorced, I’d want it to be as “uneventful” a process as I could make it.  I do not need the added stress of having my entire neighborhood or town knowing my business.  Litigate your divorce in an open courtroom and that is the chance you take.

Now I know you’re asking yourself “what are the chances someone I know is going to be sitting in the back of that courtroom at the exact same time I’m in there getting divorced?”  Slim, is probably a fair estimation but pose the question this way: “what is the chance that someone I know is going to look me up online and see my public court records?” and the probability goes up tenfold.  Probably not the best scenario if you are getting a divorce.  But with divorce mediation that will not be the case.

From an article in The New Jersey Law Journal:

The Supreme Court has opened the floodgates for accessing court documents, creating a presumption that all judicial records are public and making use of modern information technology to deliver them. While protecting privacy in limited circumstances, the overhauled rule provides for public access that is far more expansive than the 1974 rule it replaces. Revised Rule 1:38 “brings us into the age of electronic access while it addresses privacy concerns,” Chief Justice Stuart Rabner said in a statement. “This rule maintains the traditional presumption of access to court records and meets our obligation to sustain transparent court processes.”

Now I’m all for government transparency and using information technology to make accessing information easier but this kind of information, I’m not so sure about.  Divorce is a sensitive topic and not one anyone takes lightly, including me.  And if you’re like me, you’re probably feeling that these days, your information is not your own and that you’re reluctant to give up any more control of your privacy.  That’s why you owe it to yourself and your children to learn more about divorce mediation.   Sessions proceed at a pace you feel comfortable with, are held in a private location of your choosing and the proceedings are completely confidential.  No one knows what goes on in that room except you, your spouse and your NJ divorce mediator.

Just as it should be.

If you have any questions about divorce mediation or how mediation can benefit you, please feel free to contact us to schedule a free, no-obligation consultation in one of our many North or Central New Jersey office locations where we will take some time to get to know more about you and your situation and see if mediation is right for you.  Of if you’re simply not ready yet, feel free to visit the Equitable Mediation Services website where you’ll find lots of great information about parenting plans, equitable distribution, NJ child support and spousal support / alimony and contact us when you’re ready.  We look forward to helping you get through your divorce peacefully, efficiently and with as little stress on you and your family as possible.