A Team Approach to Divorce Mediation

Each of the client couples we see at Equitable Mediation Services come to us with their own unique set of circumstances and issues so as a New Jersey divorce mediator, I must be prepared for pretty much anything.  Some couples have been married for a long time, some not, some couples are both working, some are both unemployed.  In certain cases, both individuals want the divorce, and in some, only one does and needs some help getting through it all and most common of all, one spouse managed the household finances and one is completely in the dark about their assets and liabilities.  So what’s a divorce mediator in New Jersey to do?  The answer: bring in the team.

With parenting plans, you would think couples will do what’s in the best interest of their children but sometimes that can be difficult when egos get in the way or they simply don’t know what that is.  Children at various ages have various needs and while I can only help the client couple have the conversations and answer the questions surround legal and physical custody, I can’t advise them on what’s best for their child as each child is unique as is each situation.  Do you arrange visitations every other weekend and one night during the week or do you go for a true 50/50 parenting plan and do 7 days in a row, followed by 7 days in a row with the  other parent?  It can all be so confusing and that’s where a child psychologist can come in handy as naturally we don’t want any unintended consequences down the road for your son or daughter.

Next, and probably the biggest source of difficulty for many clients is that of equitable distribution of marital assets and liabilities.  Questions such as the taxable effect of transfers or what types of assets do I want to receive as part of the settlement (i.e. cash, stocks, bonds, IRA’s, 401k’s, houses, cars, furniture, etc.) can be difficult to manage.  Then once I get all of this stuff, what do I do with it?  Some individuals are left with large sums of money post-settlement and have a difficult time managing it as they never had a brokerage account before in their lives or never had to balance a checkbook.  That’s where financial pro’s such as accountants, financial advisers and attorneys come in.  How do you structure an equitable distribution payout to ensure that the newly single spouse who never managed the finances before is still able to pay their electric bills 10 years from now or retire when the time comes?

Then there is the issue of New Jersey child support and the child support guidelines.  Raising children is expensive so how do we make sure that children don’t become the economic victims of divorce?  Are you both thinking about college costs even when your child is only two years old?  You’ll need to invest in the proper vehicles to make sure the funds are there when the time comes for them to go to school and a qualified financial advisor can help with that.  Oh, and I hate to be the one to bring this up but what happens should you not be there due to some unforeseen circumstance?  Will you have the right amount of life insurance to make sure all of your obligations to the children are met?  Talk about economic victims…

Similarly, as a spouse who may receive spousal support / alimony you’ll want to make sure your settlement is structured in a way that is fair and beneficial to all.  Do you want to receive a monthly payment like most people think of when it comes to spousal support or perhaps you’d like your soon to be ex to pay for your college tuition so you can get back to being self-supportive and finish up that college degree you put on hold for the sake of the kids.  A certified divorce financial planner can help with these types of issues should the time come as well as a life insurance professional to ensure that you still continue to receive payments should your soon to be ex “no longer be of this world.”

But in the end, it’s your divorce mediator who can help assemble this team of professionals and get you and your spouse on your way towards the next chapter of your lives.  By managing all of these professionals in an orchestrated fashion and referring you to them when the time is appropriate, you can ensure that your divorce mediation will go as smooth as possible allowing each of you to move forward with the peace of mind you’ll need to begin your own personal healing process.

If you have any questions about divorce mediation or how mediation can benefit you, please feel free to contact us to schedule a free, no-obligation consultation in one of our six central New Jersey office locations where we will take some time to get to know more about you and your situation and see if mediation is right for you.  Of if you’re simply not ready yet, feel free to visit the Equitable Mediation Services website where you’ll find lots of great information about parenting plans, equitable distribution, NJ child support and spousal support / alimony and contact us when you’re ready.  We look forward to helping you get through your divorce peacefully, efficiently and with as little stress on you and your family as possible.