Managing the Chaos with Divorce Mediation

For those of you who regularly read the Equitable Mediation Services NJ divorce mediation blog, you’re probably in a place where you are investigating your options and trying to decide how to proceed with your divorce.  Do I hire an attorney and litigate or do I work with a New Jersey divorce mediator to help mediate my divorce?  However, in these economically challenging times (to put it mildly) many of the couples we’re speaking with who are seeking mediation services have attempted a third option: the do-it-yourself divorce. And the results? Well, they aren’t pretty.

As you may already know, there are four main areas we cover during our divorce mediation sessions at Equitable Mediation Services:

1. Parenting Plans
2. Equitable Distribution of Martial Assets and Liabilities
3. NJ Child Support
4. Spousal Support / Alimony

Each of these areas of divorce has it’s own complex rules and methodologies and can be a difficult topic to discuss on its own, let alone all at once.  While given enough time, training and knowledge you could figure each of them out yourself, there is one part of the equation many divorcing couples miss – the emotional one.  While I don’t know your situation personally, I would imagine part of the reason you are seeking divorce mediation services is because communication difficulties in your marriage have made it impossible for you to continue along your current path.  So why should it surprise anyone that these very same communication difficulties which got you to contemplating divorce (and the need for a mediator) are the same ones that would prevent you from resolving your own divorce?  The fact is divorce is an emotional issue and one not best dealt with alone.  You need a someone to bring order to the chaos that surrounds divorce and that’s where Equitable Mediation Services come in.

One of the major differences between hiring an attorney and hiring a New Jersey divorce mediator is that an attorney typically prolongs the conflict while as your mediator, I try to reduce it.  It is not in anyone’s best interests – yours or mine – to continue the fight and chances are you’ve been fighting long enough to come to the point where you want to divorce.  Why should it take yet another fight – let alone a long, expensive and emotional one – to let you both move on with your lives in peace?  There are many benefits of mediation that you’ve heard me talk about before and there is a reason.  Divorce mediation can help you move forward with your life typically in less than half the time it takes to litigate your divorce.  We can help you resolve all the issues surrounding your divorce in 4 to 6 sessions and at a fraction of the cost of what a litigated divorce could cost you while achieving the exact same result as if you hired an attorney and prolonged the conflict.

Most importantly, we can help you communicate better on decisions that will impact you for the rest of your life.  Do you really want to be in a heightened emotional state trying to work things out on your own when you may be talking about your child’s future, the sale of your martial home or how much you’re willing to pay your soon to be ex-spouse in alimony?  Decisions such as “what time do you want to go to dinner” were difficult before, so can you imagine trying to divide your assets by yourselves without the help of a professional divorce mediator?

To help make things easier on both of you, we offer a free, no-obligation consultation in one of our six central NJ office locations or in the marital home if that’s more convenient for both of you.  During our time together we will answer any questions either of you might have about divorce mediation or our mediation services and get to know a bit more about your unique situation to see if divorce mediation is a good fit for you.  We know once you learn more about divorce mediation you’ll agree it truly is the smarter way to divorce.

Or if you’re simply not ready to take that next step, please feel free to visit the Equitable Mediation Services website where you will find lots of great information on divorce and mediation and feel free to contact us when you’re ready.  We look forward to helping you get through your divorce peacefully, efficiently and with as little impact to you and your family as possible.