These People are Not Good Candidates for Mediation

Often at Equitable Mediation Services of New Jersey we are asked who makes good candidates for divorce mediation?  Can anyone enjoy the benefits of mediation or do couples need to fit a certain profile in order to use a mediation service?  A colleague of mine forwarded me the following news brief regarding a bill that is currently being debated in the New Jersey legislature that would put certain limitations on spousal support / alimony based on shall we say “unusual” personal circumstance encountered in divorce.

As stated in the new brief:

Legislation that would deny alimony to those who kill or plot to kill their spouses and eliminate the right of abusive and neglectful parents to inherit from their children is moving toward passage. The measure, approved by the judiciary committees in the Senate (S-1645/S-1640) and Assembly (A-2681), would bar an equitable distribution award in a divorce case or in a civil union dissolution matter to a party convicted of killing or conspiring to kill their spouse. It explicitly prohibits judges from having the intended victim pay the guilty party’s legal fees for the divorce or dissolution. In addition, anyone convicted of murder, manslaughter, criminal homicide or aggravated assault that killed or seriously injured a family member would not be allowed to receive alimony. The bill defines a family member broadly to encompass not just the immediate family but also cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles, including those related by marriage or adoption.

And while I am no legal eagle or legislative expert, I can tell you these types of individuals would not be good candidates for divorce mediation!  In order to mediate, you have to want to work through the tenants of your divorce efficiently and relatively peacefully and something tells me trying to kill your spouse is not a good way to do that.

Now I’m not saying that during divorce mediation sessions, we don’t have the occasional outburst of anger or emotion.  Divorce is a painful and confusing time and we are all human and subject to such displays of human emotion.  That’s why I feel mediation is the preferred alternative to litigating your divorce: it adds an element of humanity to proceedings but on the other hand, divorcing couples need to understand that there are certain boundaries that we all must live within and killing your spouse is not an acceptable alternative to paying spousal support or alimony!

But if you find yourself contemplating divorce or in need of NJ divorce mediation services and feel you can work through your differences in a relatively cooperative fashion, please feel free to contact us and we’ll gladly set you up for a free, no-obligation consultation. We have six central NJ office locations to meet you and will be more than willing to learn a little bit more about your particular situation to determine if you are good candidates for mediation as well as share additional information about divorce mediation and how divorce mediation can benefit you.