Choosing a Divorce Mediator – Part III
February 9, 2009 by Joseph F Dillon
In our last two posts to the Equitable Mediation Services NJ divorce mediation blog, we’ve been talking about what makes a great mediator. And while I’m sure everyone has their opinions, I have boiled it down to four factors for the purposes of this article:
- Subject Matter Expertise
- Experience
- Professional Affiliations
- Personality
Divorce mediators come in all shapes and sizes from attorneys to social workers to financial professionals and all points in between. So how do you know the mediator you choose to work with is a great one? Not to mention complicating matters is the fact that mediators can’t give client references as divorce and mediation is a confidential matter so it’s not like you can call up former clients and ask how they liked their mediator. I don’t think the ethics board would like that very much…
One of the way I tell my clients to check my references is to speak to my peers in the New Jersey Association of Professional Mediators. The NJAPM is a statewide professional organization of mediators that strives to bring mediation services to the forefront of any dispute by fostering public awareness of mediation as the preferred method of dispute resolution as well as act as a training, education and collegial resource for NJ mediators. Let’s take a look at all three of thees areas as I believe they are worth examining when discussing what makes a great mediator.
The first is training. When it comes to divorce mediation, yes, anyone can claim they are a mediator. But how do you know they know what they’re doing? The NJAPM offers an extensive training course for mediators who wish to engage in divorce mediation and taking it is only the tip of the iceberg. Yes the course gives you a great overview of divorce mediation but it is the ongoing training opportunities which also help great mediators stay sharp and hone their mediation skills. Next time you meet with a mediator, ask to see their training completion certificates.
Next is education. For all of us who went to school, be it grade school, high school, college, technical school, etc. it seems that most of us have never set foot in a school since we got that elusive degree or diploma. As a NJ divorce mediator, not only do I need to be educated in the ways of mediation, but also in terms of divorce case law, taxation, etc. This doesn’t just happen without effort. Taking classes in these areas as well as others such as mental health, is part of being a great divorce mediator. Continually staying on top of both current skills as well as subjects is a requirement of the job and one I don’t take lightly.
Lastly, the collegial network of professionals available to us as members of the NJAPM is critical. While I am a divorce mediator in New Jersey and mediation services are what I provide, that doesn’t mean that during our sessions, we won’t need the help of mental health counselors, accountants, financial professionals and others to assist us with the proceedings. By belonging to the NJAPM, I have available to me a vast state-wide network of professionals who can help us resolve your divorce peacefully and with as little impact to you and your family. These are emotional times and having such resources available to you when you need them the most is critical. That is why I value my association with the NJAPM and play an active role in it’s mission, activities, boards and committees.
In Wednesday’s final post on this topic I’ll talk about the last area that makes a great divorce mediator: personality so please return to read the conclusion of this four part series at that time. However, if in the meantime you have any questions about divorce mediation or how mediation can benefit you, please feel free to contact us to set up a free, no-obligation consultation at one of our six central NJ office locations where we will answer any questions you might have about divorce, mediation and how we may assist you at this most difficult time. We look forward to hearing from you.
