Choosing a Divorce Mediator – Part I
February 4, 2009 by Joseph F Dillon
Divorce can be a confusing and emotional time with what seems like too many decisions to make and too many things to learn. In my next few posts I’d like to talk about what I think you should look for in a mediator as choosing the right mediation service in my opinion can make all the difference. There are many mediators out there but how do you know which one is right for you?
We at Equitable Mediation Services feel there are four things that make a great divorce mediator:
- Subject Matter Expertise
- Experience
- Professional Affiliations
- Personality
Over the next four posts, I’d like to take the time to explain in additional detail why I think each of these areas makes for a great mediator and offer some suggestions for interviewing the mediators you talk to. Recent changes in people’s attitudes towards divorce has made mediation the preferred choice for couples who have made the decision to divorce but like anything that’s popular, the profession has become crowded with individuals who claim to be able to divorce you in a day, perform your divorce for $299 or solve all of your issues without you even needing to be there. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
1. Subject Matter Expertise
Divorce mediation is a complex subject. Mediators need to have knowledge in a variety of subject areas including, but not limited to:
- Family Law
- Finance
- Psychology
- Negotiation
- Taxation
It takes a unique person to be able to keep on top of these issues and ensure that they posses the knowledge in each of these areas to conduct a successful divorce mediation session and so it’s not enough to rest on their college education. Now I’m not saying a divorce mediator has to be a family law practitioner, financial professional, psychologist, master negotiator and CPA as each of those subject areas are complete careers unto themselves. However, divorce mediation does touch on all of these areas, and more, and so having knowledge in each of these areas can be a great advantage for a divorce mediator.
Ask each mediator you speak with what specific subject matter expertise they possess in each of these areas and see what they say. Was the last time they took a class on family law 10 years ago? If so, the law has changed. Ask what do they do to stay abreast of recent changes in tax policy? We all know as taxpayers ourselves, the laws change constantly and while a mediator shouldn’t be expected to stay on top of all changes in tax law, they can at least be aware of the ones that will affect a divorcing couple and advise them to speak to an accountant or tax professional. By staying on top of the latest developments in areas that affect divorce, you can be confident your mediator has the knowledge to guide you through your divorce effectively and that he or she is in possession of the latest knowledge to ensure there are no issues with your divorce decree years down the road.
In Friday’s post I’ll talk about our second area that makes a great divorce mediator: experience so please return to read more at that time. However, if in the meantime you have any questions about divorce mediation or how mediation can benefit you, please feel free to contact us and set up a free, no-obligation appointment at one of our six central NJ office locations. We will answer any questions you might have about divorce, mediation and how we may assist you at this most difficult time because we know that once you learn more about divorce mediation you’ll agree it truly is the smarter way to divorce.
