Will Divorce Cost You a Kidney?

We at Equitable Mediation Services of New Jersey have gotten our fair share of “interesting” questions regarding the equitable distribution of marital assets but this question being posed by Dr. Richard Batista when he filed for divorce from his wife Dawnell has to top them all.  In a recent news story, it seems Dr. Batista wants the kidney he gave his then wife back or the tidy sum of $1.5 million dollars which he says reflects the value of the kidney transplant.  And while I along with every other sane divorce and mediation professional out there can tell you this is a non-starter, it does raise an interesting point as to how far someone will go during their divorce proceedings.

It seems Dr. Batista is unhappy with the current visitation arrangement he and his wife have with regard to their three children and this is his way of drawing attention to his plight.  Based on what I know about the story, there are three things I could infer:

1. A good parenting plan wasn’t in place: during divorce mediation, we work with both parents to come to an agreement on how they will relate, interact and raise their children post-divorce.  As Friday’s article stated, divorce ends a marriage, not a family and this is a perfect example of that.  By working together, couples need to realize the important of maintaining the presence of both parents in a child’s life, regardless of their hurt feelings towards each other.
2. The parties did not understand the concept of the equitable distribution of marital assets: in addition to being downright odd, the kidney Dr. Batista provided his then wife was a gift and gifts given during marriage are not considered marital property and therefore not subject to equitable distribution upon divorce.  Not to mention the obvious fact that taking the kidney back would kill her and put her on dialysis for the rest of her life.
3. Divorce makes people do crazy things: I realize this sounds obvious but a story like this really makes me want to tell people about the benefits of mediation and why it’s the way to go.  Left unchecked and surrounded by lawyers, Dr. Batista took his case public and is now either the talk of the town or the butt of everyone’s jokes but no matter how you slice it can you imagine the humiliation those poor children feel?  Apparently Dr. Batista did not think this through when he decided to take his case public and make his children his pawns.

Anger and frustration are all a part of the divorce process but no matter what you are feeling, please be sure to seek professional help for those feelings and acknowledge what you’re going through instead of lashing out and trying to prove a point.  I see this time after time and it just makes me so sad to know that two grown adults can’t put their differences aside for the sake of their children that they should be so lucky to have.  So when you’re feeling bad about your child custody arrangement, think of Dr. Batista and his three children and the humiliation they will endure as a result of this stunt and ask yourself: is it really worth it?

No it is not.

Equitable Mediation Services offers a free, no-obligation consultation in your home or one of our six Central NJ locations. Please contact us today to see how divorce mediation can help you resolve the end of your marriage peacefully, efficiently and with as little impact to you and your family as possible.