Mediation: More Ways to Keep Divorce Sane

As we mentioned in Monday’s post, the couples we see in divorce mediation sessions at Equitable Mediation Services come to us because they want to mediate in private rather than litigate in public. By doing so, conversations are kept confidential and an open an honest dialog can occur when not under the stressful pretense of a attorney-driven divorce.  In many cases, divorce comes with hurt feelings that have accumulated over a number of years and mediation can help diffuse some of those grievances while letting couples see that that can work together to peacefully end their marriage.  However privacy may not be the reason you choose to mediate but rather the preserving of the relationship that drives you to do so.

One of the other less obvious benefits of mediation is the preserving of the relationship between a divorcing couple.  While this may seem counter-intuitive, when children are involved it means everything.  My clients often hear me say more than once (or twice, or three times…) during mediation sessions that “while you are no longer husband and wife, you are always going to be mom and dad.” The sad reality of life is that we all grow up and are expected to “act our age” and therefore are expected to do the difficult things and be an adult. Your children need you be the adult because simply put: they can’t.  Yes we all get mad and yes we all get frustrated, especially when divorcing but the bottom line is your children cannot fend for themselves and need both of you to do the right thing and maintain a sense of civility.  Divorce mediation can help you do that.

How you ask?  Let me answer your question with another question.  Have you ever gotten a letter from an attorney prior to your divorce?  How about a nasty e-mail or voice mail from a co-worker? Ever been on the phone arguing with a customer service representative over something so minute you can’t believe this is even an issue in the first place?  Did you feel good about any of those interactions?  Welcome to an attorney-driven divorce.

With divorce mediation, we work to keep divorcing couples “future-focused” and help them resolve the issues that will impact them and their children moving forward.  Building on successes week after week rather than reacting to failures, is how divorce mediation can help maintain the peace and help couples see that while their marriage may not have worked out, they can at least communicate civilly through “small victories.”

If maintaining the peace in your relationship moving forward is important to you and your children, then you owe it to yourself to learn more about divorce mediation.  We offer a free, no obligation consultation in one of our six area office in central NJ where we will explain in detail the benefits of divorce mediation and how divorce mediation can help you.