A Divorce Ends a Marriage, Not a Family

Today I saw an interesting article by Sam Shaperow published in a newspaper in Connecticut with this very headline and I thought to myself what a simple but powerful statement.  This week at Equitable Mediation Services we’ve been discussing some of the lesser know benefits of mediation and this one hit squarely on another that I think it critical to why divorce mediation is the best way to peacefully end your marriage:  the preserving of relationships.  In the article the author stated that couples should consider investing in couples therapy. Sound counter-intuitive? Read the article and I think you’ll change your mind.

You see when couples enter divorce mediation, much like counseling, there is one professional that cares about both of you and wants the best possible outcome for you and your children.  With an attorney-driven divorce, each of you has your own advocate who will most likely tell you what you want to hear and tell you that you are right 100% of the time (that’s what they get paid for and besides it keeps the billings coming) instead of focusing in on what is in the best interest of the family as a whole.  As Sam’s article states, “a divorce ends a marriage, not a family” and like I’ve said before, you will no longer be husband and wife but you’ll always be mom and dad.  Being an adult is hard and doing the right thing in even harder.  Preserving your relationship for the sake of the kids is the right thing to do.  Period.

Children are the smallest victims of divorce and no amount of child support is ever going to offset the emotional damage that can take it’s toll on those too young to fully understand why mommy and daddy keep yelling at each other or why mommy or daddy doesn’t come visit them anymore.  So take Sam’s advice to heart and do everything you can to end your marriage as peacefully as possible through divorce mediation and consider couples counselling afterwords to improve communication for the sake of your children.  They will be glad you did.

If you have any questions about divorce mediation or would like to come in for a free, no obligation consultation please feel free to contact us and we’d be more than happy to see you in one of our six central New Jersey offices or in your home.