For today’s post I’d like to talk a little about what happens after divorce mediation with Equitable Mediation Services as for many of our clients, the concept of divorce or mediation is such an emotionally draining and overwhelming thought that sometimes certain tasks may get lost after a couple leaves my office.  Once all the agreements have been reached on parenting plans, equitable distribution, the NJ child support guidelines and spousal support / alimony, there is still work to be done by each of you to ensure the agreement can be fully in effect.

Take for example in a recent unanimous decision, the Supreme Court allowed the payment of retirement plan benefits to an ex-spouse despite her waiver of her rights to those benefits in the couple’s 1994 divorce decree.  Even though it was perfectly clear to both her and her ex-husband that she would not receive any payment from the retirement plan, her ex-husband passed away in 2001 and never changed the beneficiary form.  The Supreme Court upheld that she was entitled to receive the $400,000 payment and they felt the plan administrator properly distributed benefits as she was the only designated beneficiary, even though she had waived her interest in plan benefits in the couple’s divorce decree.

So what is the moral of this story?  There are often things a divorcing couple must take care after divorce mediation.  Often these items are a nuisance and the last thing you want to do is think about changing plan beneficiaries and the like but as this recent Supreme Court ruling shows us, the devil is in the details.  No amount of mediation documentation is going to change the fact that some of the burden falls on you to enforce your agreement moving forward.  When you work with Equitable Mediation Services, we provide you checklists and worksheets to simplify the process and help you manage these details as effectively as we can.  We understand this is an emotional time and the last thing on your mind is to remember all the things you need to do once your divorce is final.

If you have questions about divorce mediation or how mediation can benefit you, please feel free to contact us and we’d be happy to schedule a free, no-obligation consultation in one of our six central NJ offices or the marital home.  Or if you’re not ready just yet, please feel free to visit the Equitable Mediation Services website where you will lots of information on everything you need to know to manage your divorce peacefully, efficiently and with as little impact to you and your family as possible.

We at Equitable Mediation Services of New Jersey have been hearing a lot of stories lately about people who can’t afford to get a divorce and are forced to live together.  For those of you who have been reading my NJ divorce mediation blog for a while know that I’ve always talked about the many benefits of mediation which include substantial cost savings of $20,000 or more on your divorce but in my years doing this, I never thought mediation could help couples who are forced to live together while waiting to divorce once the economy turns around.

One of the challenges divorcing couples who live together are faced with is the lack of structure when it comes to their living arrangements and future.  Trying to negotiate such complex matters in such a highly emotional situation by yourselves can be all but impossible and requires the next level in dispute resolution: mediation.  Negotiation is left to more simple matters such as “what do you want to eat tonight” or “which movie do you want to go see ” not to determine the future of your living arrangements or financial future.  For that you need a professional mediator who can help you make the arrangements necessary to manage your current living situation as well as structure what a possible arrangement would look like once you do decide to divorce.

By working through many of the issues now, once the economy turns around and you are ready to divorce, you will have most everything you need to proceed peacefully, expediently and with as little emotional impact to you and your family as possible.  All the fighting that comes with divorce can be all but eliminated if you stick to a few simple ground rules now.  A mediator can help you make those arrangements and guide you and your spouse on matters that will be important to you and your children now and when you finally divorce all at a fraction of the cost of a traditional attorney-driven divorce.

Equitable Mediation Services of NJ offers a free, no-obligation consultation where will will discuss with you the benefits of mediation and take the time to learn more about your particular situation to see how divorce mediation can benefit you – now and in the future.  Drop us a line or give us a call today and we’d be happy to set up an appointment in one of our six central NJ office locations or come to your marital home at a mutually convenient time.   We owe it to yourself and your children to learn more about divorce mediation today because once you do, we know you’ll agree it truly is the smarter way to divorce.

There’s an old saying that goes “when the only tool you have is a hammer, the whole world looks like a nail” and that holds true when it comes to divorce.  Unlike using an attorney to handle your divorce who most likely only focuses on the legal ramifications of the proceedings, divorce mediation from Equitable Mediation Services can help you understand all facets surrounding your divorce by offering guidance on topics that while not specifically related to martial law, will impact your settlement.

Take for example the issue of taxation.  As an NJ divorce mediator, it is my job to ensure that you not only get a proper divorce settlement by crafting a Memorandum of Understanding that outlines all the agreements reached during divorce mediation sessions, but also to advise you when a potential issue raised during our mediation sessions may have tax ramifications.  I view it as my role to either offer you information to help you make an informed decision or advise you when such a decision may be too complex to be handled in mediation sessions and guide you to professionals who can assist you.   A common issue we see today is with that of the martial residence which is discussed during the equitable distribution of martial assets and liabilities.  With today’s real estate market, values of homes are down across the board and many couples going through a divorce are choosing not to sell their home as it is “underwater” (that is – worth less than what they owe on it).  So what do they do?  Perhaps an attorney wouldn’t think about this point, but divorce mediators do.

Did you know there are certain guidelines you need to adhere to in order to benefit from the capital gains exemption when you actually do sell you house?  Did you know we can craft agreements that allow one of you to still live in the house post-divorce but allow both of you to benefit financially when you actually do sell the house?  These and other pressing issues of taxation are all in the realm of divorce mediation and something I as your divorce mediator think about when working with you.

You see in addition to staying up on changes in marital law, I also study changes in taxation, child custody issues, trends in Parenting Plans, changes in Equitable Distribution laws, NJ Child Support Guidelines and Spousal Support / Alimony.  All of these things (and many others) that go into your settlement each play a small but critical role in determining the shape of your future and your relationship with your children and ex-spouse for years to come.  I hope you will take a little time to learn more about divorce mediation and the many benefits of mediation and see how it can help you.

As always, if we can be of any assistance, please feel free to contact us and schedule a free, no-obligation consultation in one of our six central NJ office locations or if you’re more comfortable, we can come to your martial home. We know that once you learn more about divorce mediation, you’ll agree it truly is the smarter way to divorce and will be there every step of the way to guide both of you to work to an agreement you both can live with.