Preparing for Divorce Mediation in NJ

In a previous post, I referred to a recent article in the Wall Street Journal that outlined the tremendous cost savings divorce mediation can bring to a couple if they are willing to do some of the work and sit in the same room with each other and work through their issues.  Over the next few weeks I thought I’d take some time to outline in more detail what couples going through divorce mediation with Equitable Mediation Services can expect and should be prepared for when engaging in mediation with us.

Before we begin, there is some basic information we need to gather in order to prepare for your divorce mediation.  We do that in two ways.  First we use a Client Intake Form to gather some basic information about each member of the divorcing couple such as contact info, length of marriage, ages and names of children, etc.  We also like to see if you’ve secured the advice of an attorney at the time as it will help me as your mediator understand if you have someone to go to for advice and if your attorney is “mediation-friendly” and willing to do review work and interact with a divorce mediator.  Not all attorneys are so you need to be careful about the attorney you choose.

Second we provide you with a list of items you will need during the course of divorce mediation and that you should begin to gather.  These items include, but are not limited to, bank statements, tax returns, paystubs, etc.  These items will be used to prepare for the equitable distribution of marital assets as well as serve as a reality check for your mediator should something appear not quite right.  For example, if I client claims they cannot pay spousal support due to a lack of income yet their most recent paystub shows them making $500,000 per year, that serves as a tip for the mediator to pursue this line of reasoning further.

In my next article I’ll talk about how I as a mediator use the material given to me in more detail as well as provide some tips for gathering such information when your spouse is either unwilling or unable to provide it.  And as always, if you have any questions about our services or if you’d simply like to ask us a question, please feel free to contact us and we’d be more than happy to help.

Wall Street Journal article puts divorce mediation savings at $71,000

One of the main benefits of mediation is the tremendous cost savings you can achieve.  A recent article in the Wall Street Journal stated:

“The average cost of a mediated divorce is less than $7,000. This compares with nearly $27,000 for a divorce negotiated by rival lawyers and about $78,000 for a fully litigated divorce.

That represents a potential savings of anywhere from $20,000 to $71,000 which can be put to much better use in funding your child’s college education or for a down payment on a new home.   Does this sound too good to be true?  It’s really not.  Here’s how the cost savings are acheived:

1. You are sharing one professional mediator instead of two attorney’s – Common sense will tell you it costs less to pay one person than it does two to do the same work for you.  And mediator hourly rates are traditionally lower than attorney’s hourly rates.
2. You are doing some of the work – the collection and subsequent photocopying of things such as tax returns, bank statements, pay stubs, deeds, etc. can all be more efficiently accomplished by you than a staff person at a law firm.  Why pay someone to make photocopies for you?
3. You’re working it out in real time – part of the savings comes from both of you being in a the same room, working out your differences in real-time with one professional instead of using two to communicate via telephone, e-mail, letter and fax.  Decision are made faster and more efficiently and changes can be made “on the fly” rather than having to have an attorney draft a letter and send it along with a revised copy of a document.

Interested in learning more?  Please visit the Equitable Mediation Services website for a complete copy of this article as well as lots of helpful information about divorce mediation.  Should you have any questions for us, or like to schedule a free, no obligation consultation, please feel free to contact us and we’d be glad to help.

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