Hello everyone!  For a few months now I’ve been talking about our new divorce mediation website for our practice here in central New Jersey and it is finally live.  When you have a moment, please visit us at Equitable Mediation Services and let us know what you think!

There you will find lots of great stuff including articles and resources on The Benefits of Mediation, Parenting Plans, Equitable Distribution of Marital Assets, Alimony / Spousal Support, Child Support as well as links to Recent Articles, a Glossary of Terms, a Recommended Books section and a page of Helpful Links that you can reference for anything from Financial Planners to Life After Divorce.

When you have a moment, please contact us as we’d love to hear from you and answer any questions you might have about divorce or divorce mediation. Remember – we do offer a free, no obligation consultation in the privacy of the marital home or in one of our six New Jersey office locations in Bedminster, Bridgewater, East Brunswick, Lawrenceville, Piscataway or Princeton, New Jersey.

I am often asked this question by both spouses during the equitable distribution part of divorce mediation in New Jersey. First by the wife who wonders if she will have to give the ring back as a part of their divorce and then by the husband who feels as if the ring was given as a condition of marriage and now that the contract is broken, the ring should be returned. So there in lies the question: is an engagement ring considered a martial asset for equitable distribution during divorce mediation in NJ?

Now the law does vary from state to state but for our purposes the answer is no, it does not. Without getting too complex, the engagement ring is offered (presumably by the man in the case of heterosexual couples) to the woman as a “conditional gift” with the condition being marriage. If you get married, the condition has been met and the “contract” is valid. I guess that’s why they don’t call it a “we have to remain married until the day we die, ring” because besides being awkward to say, it just isn’t true. The giving of the ring has nothing to do with the duration of the marriage, just the successful completion of the nuptials.

What should a woman do with an engagement ring given to her from someone she no longer will be married to? The best piece of advice I’ve heard given on this subject is to sell the ring and use it to pay off marital debts as I’m not sure I know any divorcing couple today who does not have their fair share of marital debts and liabilities. And while I don’t know for certain, I would think a person would not want to look at a wedding or engagement ring of someone they were no longer married to but I could be wrong.

As everyone’s situation is unique, be sure to check with your mediator or legal cousel before acting on any advice given in this or any other article found on our blog or website. And if you should have any questions, please feel free to visit our website and contact us at Equitable Mediation Services and we’ll be glad to help you with your divorce mediation in Middlesex, Somerset, Hunterdon and Mercer counties here in New Jersey.

If anyone is interested, the New Jersey Association of Professional Mediators is holding its Fall 2008 Divorce Mediation training on September 27 and 28; October 4, 25, and 26. For more information please visit the NJAPM at:

http://njapm.org/pg/home/Trainingflyerfall2008.PDF

to learn more about this course. It’s an excellent resource for those interested in divorce mediation or mediation in general and I highly recommend it.