Divorce Mediation in NJ: Not Only Less Expensive but Less Costly
For regular readers of this NJ divorce mediation blog or for those who have visited the Equitable Mediation Services website, as a NJ divorce mediator no doubt seen me espouse the benefits of divorce mediation in New Jersey, especially the issue of cost. To quickly review the average costs:
- A litigated divorce that involves children is $180,000
- An average divorce that doesn’t go to trial is $78,000
- An average “friendly” divorce (what is commonly referred to as collaborative divorce) is $32,000
- The average costs for a couple who uses divorce mediation in NJ is $6,000.
Based on these numbers, you can quickly see that divorce mediation is the preferred method for couples seeking a divorce in New Jersey who don’t want to go broke in the process. These figures come from both Forbes Magazine and The Wall Street Journal which I think most people would consider to be very reputable sources so it’s not like this New Jersey divorce mediator is making them up! So I’m sure by now you get the fact that you can save as much $174,000 by using divorce mediation in NJ but so far, all we’ve spoken about is the financial cost. Yes, in these tough economic times (and in all times for that matter) cost is always an issue and it’s always better to fund your child’s college fund rather than your attorney’s, but saving money is not the only issue at stake here as there’s also the issue of the emotional cost a divorce can take on both the parties and their children, friends and family.
You see, getting a divorce is not so much about how much money you spend or save (important yes, but not the main focus at the end of the day in most cases) it’s about the emotional cost that going through such a major life-changing event takes on each of you and your children. What most couples don’t realize is that a divorce is time of great upheaval as well as transition and staying focused and strong through the process is paramount to your future success as both an adult and a parent. So I ask you this: would you rather your divorce take 3 months or 2 years because that is the difference between using divorce mediation in NJ to handle your divorce versus going to court and fighting it out by using lawyers and getting into the whole ugly scene. Sure there is a tremendous financial cost differential in the two processes but there is also a hidden cost in the emotional cost that will be extracted from each of you and your children should you decided to prolong the fight, involve attorneys and drag it out. Saving money is only a small part of it – the real cost comes from the “pound of flesh” that each of you will undoubtedly give during the contentious process of litigating your divorce or engaging in a “collaborative divorce” process. So next time you’re thinking about the real cost of your divorce ask yourself this question: what’s it worth to you to have this be done and over with and allow you to move on with rebuilding your life and moving through this major life transition to the next phase of your life? I know for certain that putting a price tag on that would be impossible as no amount of money can match the satisfaction one receives from peace of mind.
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Joseph Dillon is a Professional Accredited Divorce Mediator in NJ and the owner of Equitable Mediation Services a New Jersey divorce mediation practice serving Somerset, Mercer, Middlesex, Essex, Morris, Monmouth and Hunterdon counties including the towns of Edison, Parsippany, East Brunswick, West Orange, Bridgewater, South Brunswick, Hillsborough, Livingston, Randolph, Maplewood, West Windsor, Summit, Plainsboro, Millburn, Morristown, Montgomery, Madison, Readington, Branchburg, Warren, Princeton, Metuchen, Lawrenceville, Pennington, Short Hills, Bernards, Bedminster, Colts Neck, Holmdel, Roseland, Montclair and surrounding areas.




